People who habitually promise more than they can deliver may be revealing a deep need to feel valued by others, according to psychology experts. Researchers who study the behavior say it often points to fear of rejection, poor assertiveness or low self-esteem rather than genuine goodwill.
Promises carry weight because they signal certainty that something will actually happen. But many go unfulfilled over time, breeding distrust, anger and, when the pattern repeats, emotional exhaustion for both sides.
Why people promise too much
Ana Galán, a psychologist specializing in trauma and emotional management, told the newspaper Semana that there are several negative explanations for this behavior, pointing in particular to a need for approval from others.
According to Galán, people who overpromise often fear falling short of expectations or not being well received. In practice, this means they depend heavily on the validation offered by friends or family.
Galán also identified a second trait common to this group: a lack of assertiveness, meaning they struggle to say no. For mental health specialists, this difficulty can be a sign of poor self-esteem.
Impulsiveness and past success
Galán offered another angle on the behavior. In some cases, she said, overpromising can indicate that a person is simply impulsive, or that they have adopted the habit after it produced positive results in the past.
In the first case, these individuals commit to things without stopping to consider whether they can actually follow through, which ends up damaging their reputation. In the second, if making commitments has previously worked out well for them, they repeat the pattern as a way of feeling secure.
Given all this, a promise carries particular significance, since it is a statement that obligates the person to follow through. Experts stress that no one is required to give their word on everything, and that learning when to say no is essential.
The cost of a broken promise
How much damage a broken promise causes depends on the closeness of the relationship involved, whether it is a close friend, a family member or a partner. Failing to keep a promise signals that a person does not value themselves enough to act with integrity, according to the experts cited.
The consequences, they say, include a loss of respect, dignity and, most importantly, trust. In some cases, the relationship itself can break down as a result.
