Bipolar disorder affects between 1% and 2.5% of the French population, according to the Haute Autorité de Santé, though the health authority says this figure is certainly a significant underestimate.
The mood disorder, recently brought into the spotlight by journalist Nicolas Demorand in his book Intérieur Nuit, remains poorly understood, said psychologist Pascal Anger. He said there is still a lack of awareness about bipolarity, and that people are often unsure whether to call someone temperamental or bipolar, or how to describe them at all. Anger said that when someone breaks a leg, people have no trouble saying they are going to see a doctor to fix it, but they find it harder to say they are going to get their head fixed.
Manic and depressive episodes
Anger described the condition as a succession of manic and depressive episodes with fairly discontinuous mood fluctuation. He said that on one side there is a cheerfulness that becomes exaggerated euphoria, and on the other a depression and total isolation that can last for days and weeks, with a few intervals in between where mood is normal and stable.
During manic periods, Anger said, people can be quite creative and even brilliant, and may appear exuberant, bold and adventurous. But he said this heightened activity can spiral out of control, with people spending large amounts of money, even emptying their bank accounts, and engaging in risky sexual behavior that can become completely uninhibited, with no control over what is happening. Anger said this comes with changes in how a person perceives themselves, others and the world. The rise is followed by a steep decline marked by a loss of motivation and desire for activity, isolation, and the development of suicidal thoughts.
An emotional rollercoaster for partners
Beyond the episodes themselves, bipolar disorder affects other parts of life, including romantic and family relationships, Anger said. He acknowledged that not being able to manage a person's emotions can be destabilizing.
Still, Anger said a relationship is not impossible, though the partner must be aware there will be major highs and major lows and must show patience, knowing there will also be calmer, more regulated periods even as the condition can disrupt the relationship. He noted that bipolar disorder is a chronic illness that can produce three to four episodes a year, calling it an emotional rollercoaster and saying that being with a bipolar partner is "rock 'n' roll."
Anger said partners can offer support by talking a lot and staying present, because people with bipolar disorder need that presence and need to hear that they are understood.
Partners need boundaries too
Anger said that being available is not always easy for partners, since they must stay hypervigilant during both the highs and the lows. He said partners should still think of themselves, since they are not nurses, and are also people who must respect themselves and be respected. He said they can love the other person but must also ask themselves how far that love can go.
A relationship involving bipolar disorder is not one without compromise and communication, Anger said, and it cannot function on conversation alone but also needs professional support. He said such a relationship can last and even go well over the long term, but only with proper care and monitoring, adding that the key is learning to navigate the storms while continuing to hold the course.
