I was late twice last week. Once for a math session with my son’s teacher. For one personal training session. The first was exactly 60 minutes (sorry: I misread the doodles in my diary), the second was ten minutes (sorry: overplanning). They both made me feel shame, distress, and fear. Both were completely avoidable. Both are categorically my fault. However, being late was not my weakness.
The first one missed my honeymoon flight because I misread the 24-hour clock (it was presented at 3pm for the 13:00 flight). But it wasn’t as bad as being so late for my daughter’s pickup from school that she was moved from the “collection area” in the backyard to the school office. I was sweating and stressed to see my six-year-old daughter all alone, biting her nails, her face clouded with fear. There was nothing funny about it.
I’ve lost friends, career opportunities, and I’m sure the late years of my life. But other than that, it seems like it’s too late to be fashionable now… outdated.
Rosie Green says the worst time she’s been late is when she picks up her daughter from school. Her six-year-old daughter was all alone when she arrived, chewing her nails, her face filled with fear.
“The Dakkun has a memory,” said the New York Times last month. The reason is, it seems, during the pandemic, no one had an excuse to be late because we weren’t going anywhere. No dead car batteries, no stolen bags, no leaves waiting in the queue. Although we are now traveling again, society’s expectations have changed enough to make it seem like the delay has passed.
Linda Ong, CEO of Cultique, a US consulting firm that advises companies on changing cultural norms, tells the New York Times: “Punctuality is key when reevaluating our relationship with time. There is less tolerance for being late because you are expected to have more control over your time and therefore you need to be on time.’
This trend is reflected in the celebrity world, where parties begin the moment they say it on the invitation. Revolutionary. Grab the biggest ticket on the fashion calendar: the Met Gala. She is the daughter of Anna Wintour, the powerhouse of American Vogue, and does not like “people who are late”. That’s how effective She is, the stars appear on time and work (almost) on time.
This would have been unheard of when I started working for glossy magazines. Back then it was normal for shows to start two hours late, and it was quite normal for it to be three. And I was once at a charity party where an unnamed supermodel was going to present an award at 8pm but showed up in her pajamas at 11pm.
The restaurant industry, meanwhile, is reporting more punctuality between diners, who rely less on casual visits and much more on pre-booked online reservations.
So I decided I didn’t want to be late anymore. I don’t think I ever actually did that, but definitely not now. I consult psychologist Fiona Murden, author of Mirror Thinking: How Role Models Make Us Human, and I train many successful CEOs. She says we need to understand the psychological reasons for our slowdown and then apply strategies to change our behavior. Here are tips to stay out of fashion until late…
PROBLEM: POWER
If you’re comfortable on the couch, it’s hard to get up. When you’re with a group of friends, you need to be determined to move on to another.
Solution: Try the tactic of saying “5,4,3,2,1 moves” out loud. From a neurological perspective, it focuses your mind and gives you a boost.
PROBLEM: FEAR
You may be late because you can’t stand the thought of being the one waiting alone. Do you feel vulnerable and vulnerable while in this position?
Solution: Plan ways to fill your time: Look for shops to visit, grab a book to read, or bring your laptop to work.
PROBLEM: WE ARE TOO GOOD
“My husband does this,” Murden says. “He says, ‘I’ll be home in an hour,’ because he really thinks so. He is sure that everything will be alright, but events/traffic/life are happening and it’s too late.’
Solution: If you’re thinking about an upcoming job or event and how long it will take to get there, “reverse the order”. Remember whether you need to queue, travel far, or wait for service. This gives you a more precise time frame to work with.
PROBLEM: TOO BUSY
This goes without saying but worth mentioning – too much in your schedule? Are you stuffing your day too hard to get everything?
Solution: Overtimer often coincides with optimistic, so use the tactics above for this particular problem.
PROBLEM: DELAY
Do you recognize the following thought process? “After watering the plants, replacing the smoke detector batteries, and checking my messages, I’m leaving.” It’s about staying in your comfort zone a little longer.
Solution: Set an alert on your phone 15 minutes before you have to leave. Tell yourself and others that you need to leave soon.
PROBLEM: ENJOYABLE PEOPLE
You don’t want to disappoint anyone, so tell people you’ll arrive/go when you think about their future, not when it’s practical to do so.
Solution: Tell people from the start that you have to leave at a certain time. It softens any social friction and facilitates separation. Many CEOs use this tactic.
Armed with reasons for being late and strategies to stop my behavior, I feel positive about being the most punctual person I want to be. I stopped planning too much. I built it in an emergency (it’s a revelation). Every day I struggle with FOMO (fear of getting lost) and the institutionalized lag that my fashion journalism career has left me, but I’m calmer, happier, and far less relaxed.
I even stopped this weekend when a friend asked me to put on makeup for a Saturday night party. Instead of typing “yes” right away, I looked at my big “weekly recap” diary (game rules change) and realized I was going to be late for my 40th place. So I said I was very sorry but I couldn’t.
And you know? The air did not fall. As far as I know, he’s still talking to me. And my friend and I came to the barbecue undisturbed. I think that’s called success.
Source: Daily Mail
