How can you stop being afraid of rejection and learn to say “no” yourself?

We deceive ourselves that other people’s opinions mean nothing to us, but we ourselves need universal approval. Many of us struggle with the good girl complex throughout our lives, taking a lot of things on our shoulders instead of just saying no. It seems to us that we will instantly lose someone else’s favor. At the same time, some are so afraid of rejection that they are ready to give up on their dreams. We tell you how to finally get rid of the fear of rejection and teach yourself to say “no”.

Don’t try to please everyone

A still from the movie “To Die For”

You are not a dessert that everyone will love. Notice how bad the sucks look from the outside as they bend over backwards to please everyone. Remember that you are a living person and you have the right to like or dislike.

Remember your interests

Sometimes goals change on the way to a dream. You may think that a position will bring you freedom and prosperity, but in reality it will only become shackles and turn your world into a routine. Know exactly why you’re doing this. Think and decide whether you should work as an errand boy, carrying coffee for careless bosses, or take a risk and start your own business with a team of like-minded people.

Failure Can Be Luck in Disguise

Becoming a screen star may be your biggest dream, and of course, another rejection will undermine your self-confidence. This doesn’t mean you should give up on your goal, but it may be worth looking for other avenues. Maybe you follow the same algorithm over and over again. If you do the same thing, the result will be the same. And then failure doesn’t mean failure. There is an expression in English called blessing in disguise, which means “luck in disguise”. Maybe some doors are closing to open new hopes for you. It is enough to remember how George Lucas had to end his career as a professional racing driver after an injury. Who would have thought their skills would come in handy when creating exciting races in the Star Wars franchise? It is unlikely that he will regret becoming a world-famous director.

Stop making excuses for yourself

A still from the movie “Legally Blonde”

Learn to lose gracefully. Here it is worth learning from poker players the ability to give a good look to a bad game. You don’t need to think that someone is better than you. Imagine if instead of Yuri Gagarin the German Titov, who was in no way inferior to him, could fly. Only the top management decided that the Soviet cosmonaut must necessarily have a Russian name and Slavic appearance. So no matter how hard he tries, his fate is sealed by something so trivial that it has nothing to do with his professionalism. So, don’t view failure as a death sentence; Sometimes luck actually solves the problem.

Prepare for rejection in advance

Don’t set yourself up for failure, but also don’t set expectations that are too high. If you are worried, try to disclose yourself. How terrible and irreparable something will happen globally? What do you have to lose? Sit down and write points to the point of absurdity, even if it’s an alien takeover of the world. After a point everything will become unimportant.

Remember who or what gave you the fear of failure

Most likely, some situation in your past has become a trigger that causes you to constantly experience painful fear. Don’t let it control you. You can recite a prayer or other mantra against fear, like Paul Atreides in Dune. You own your body, so don’t let destructive thoughts have power over you. Remember who and under what circumstances criticizes you and exposes it: often such critics themselves are not smart and do not have any special talents.

don’t apologize

A frame from the movie “Beauty Everywhere”

You have nothing to be ashamed of. Think of everything as a lesson or a game. Every person who comes your way is a teacher. Mentally thank him for the experience, even if it was negative. Don’t make excuses. Be honest with yourself and move on.

Say “no” to people yourself

How can I learn this? Only in practice. Remember, your opinion is as important as the opinions of others. On what basis did you put someone else’s preferences above your own? Even if you talk to your boss, remember that he or she depends on you as much as you depend on him. Yes, you can be fired, but the outcome of your work also affects its reputation and the status of the company. Maybe the guy you didn’t have a good date with isn’t that into you anymore? Sometimes we ourselves give people power that they don’t really have.

Eliminate questionable words

Our perception of ourselves is greatly influenced by the way we speak and look. If you are always slouching, you are unintentionally showing your willingness to submit to others. Study the gestures, facial expressions and words of actors, businessmen and politicians.

And in general, live for your own pleasure!

Source: People Talk

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