Serkan Bolat’s Top 10 Toxic Behaviors

After the release of the popular Turkish TV series “Kapımı Çal”, many girls found a new ideal man for themselves in the main character Serkan Bolat, played by actor Kerem Bürsin. Apparently he’s handsome (at least to most people), undeniably attractive, and rich too, which is a huge bonus. The hero is well-educated, well-read and has a sense of style.

Serkan is ambitious and a true example of a workaholic who achieves success alone. Thus, he managed to start his own company without the help of wealthy parents.

Of course, men with a similar definition immediately fly to the top and become examples of the same prince charming. Of course, it will appear out of nowhere, save you from a routine life full of problems with an unloved job and turn into that miracle that makes you forget all the unsuccessful experiences that your personal life had before it.

However, even in TV series whose plot is completely fictional, there are no princes. Is Serkan Bolat really that perfect, or have we idealized his image all this time and devalued men who don’t fit him according to our standards? When you take off your rose-colored glasses and look at the relationship between the main characters (Serkan Bolat and Eda Eldiz), you will realize that Serkan is not behaving ideally. Their behavior is ambiguous, sometimes abusive, and quite toxic.

In this material, psychologist Svetlana Bulatova will analyze the most unhealthy actions and feelings of the main character of the series “Knock on My Door”.

Svetlana Bulatova, psychologist

1. He is afraid of his feelings: He cannot express them clearly and confess them to himself and Eda.

It’s not safe to be open. It is not safe to be in contact with yourself. Serkan Bolat does not reveal his emotions and hides his fragile side. It’s actually the part that’s afraid of rejection.

This occurs when a person’s desires, feelings, sensations are ignored for a long time, faced with indifference or do not receive a response from another person. For example, a cold mother contributes to this. Or a mother who performs mechanical functions but cannot establish an emotional connection or scolds her child for being too emotional.

Later, such a character may begin to be afraid of his emotions. He learns to love another without expressing it, which makes the subject “living dead.”

2. When problems arise in relationships, Serkan begins to alienate Eda and treat her coldly.

Serkan Bolat constantly avoids facing conflicts because he does not know how to deal with them. Conflict speaks of one’s ability to express one’s own desires and listen to the desires of one’s partner, while refusal to interact with the other side of the partner means the opposite. It is also related to not having one’s own boundaries and not respecting others’ boundaries, and the desire to make the other person comfortable. The message is: “When we have problems, you are inconvenient to me, I don’t need you.” This situation causes Serkan to avoid talking openly with his lover, which causes him pain.

3. When Eda tries to express her partner’s shortcomings or bad things, she only encounters excuses: “You knew how I was when we started the relationship. “I won’t change”

The main character wants to keep the interaction basic: When we met, I told you who I was. I won’t go any further. But this isn’t about building relationships. Relationships imply two parties developing, moving towards each other. If there is no “we”, there is no relationship. Rejecting change is distortion. The person is emotionally stuck at the age of a rebellious teenager who desperately wants to break up.

4. Not being able to apologize and accept your mistake or mistake.

The “I was wrong, I’m sorry” situation at that moment brings the person down even further. Pride does not allow a person to take this position. Serkan Bolat believes that everything should be done perfectly and correctly the first time. For him, making a mistake means losing.

Therefore, the hero exhibits extreme perfectionism. It carries this message inside: “I want to be known by you. I want you to like me. “When I’m wrong, when I’m wrong, they don’t love me and they don’t know me.”

5. He has a lot of secrets, he hides a lot from Eda

This is a direct fear of betrayal. Fear of showing yourself as you really are. Fear that if someone else finds out the truth about them, they might use it against the hero. And then the truth itself becomes dangerous. Perhaps this is due to a very painful past that a person wants to suppress and never remember about it again.

6. He is very jealous of Edu

Serkan has both a desire to possess others and self-doubt. Such feelings are usually experienced by a person who has something taken away from him, whose boundaries are not taken into account, and who is forced to “share” out of necessity.

This behavior can take shape from the moment new family members appear, a brother or sister. It’s as if the parent’s attention is directed to someone else. And the older child is desperately trying to regain that interest. The biography of the hero indicates that he has a brother.

Also, such jealousy may be the result of an incomplete period in which a person learns to defend his own rights and at the same time understands that not everything belongs to him.

This is also a search for confirmation that you will not be abandoned, growing out of uncertainty.

7. He tries to manipulate Eda’s opinion

A very weak internal position in which one young man begins to attack and use another. This happens when he doesn’t have a convincing argument. He doesn’t know what to say and is very defensive. Any manipulation is intentional harm. This attempt to alienate people from himself and make them feel guilty is how Serkan Bolat behaves during a fake relationship, when the hero feels attached to Eda but cannot admit it to himself.

8. In controversial situations, he always tries to “beat” Eda and defend his position.

This is a position of competition, not cooperation. In this way, Serkan wants to confirm his authority, show that he is smart, right, and not stupid. It’s like he’s humiliating himself in someone else’s eyes. These are the typical characteristics of a person who is not allowed to express his opinion, who is silenced, who is told that he does not have the right to vote.

9. Serkan Bolat does not compromise

This is obviously the fear of falling under someone else’s influence, as if you make concessions now, they will begin to take advantage of him and will constantly try to win him over to your side, they are trying to establish authority through prohibitions. “It will either happen as I say, or it won’t happen at all.”

10. When personal problems arise, Serkan begins to take out his aggression on Ed.

The hero is looking for support from another person but cannot ask for it directly. Projecting aggression onto the weak and those nearby indicates that the person seeks help in this way because he can only express his emotions in the presence of someone he trusts.

He can’t deal with someone or something outside. Like a man who is scolded by his boss at work but has no strength to resist him, and when he comes home he takes it out on his wife and children.