Drama Queen: Why Some Women Want Relationship Drama

“Women themselves don’t know what they want, and so they constantly create problems where they don’t exist,” says a user named Andrei on one of the most popular forums on the web. In the discussions below the post, as expected, there are hundreds of comments from girls who honestly admit that sometimes even the healthiest relationships can’t live without drama.

The author of this text subscribes to all messages in the style of “when I’m bored, I’m just suddenly looking for a reason to start a scandal” and honestly admits that he does the same periodically. By the way, here should be a disclaimer that such behavior is not the norm at all, and if you suddenly notice frequent tantrums, you should contact a specialist who will help you find the reason for these actions.

It seems that drama in a relationship has exactly the same place as hot hugs and passionate sex. At least, this is the scenario that all romantic comedies and women’s dramas have watched for many years. And Netflix’s sensational project “Sex / Life” is no exception. If you’re not familiar with the plot, let us tell you this: Billy is the mother of two children and the wife of a successful businessman. It seems that everything is fine in her life: a wealthy husband, a luxurious country house and a lot of free time for herself. However, one day Billy thinks to himself and decides to meet up with his ex-boyfriend, Brad, with whom they once had a tumultuous love affair. And as you can imagine, a meeting turns into a secret affair that destroys Billy’s family.

Why do we look for tragedy in relationships?

Agree, the story of the main character of the series can happen to any girl who cannot decide what she wants in her relationship. And as trite as it may sound, the culprit is unresolved insults from childhood. This is also confirmed by the specialists of the online psychological help service Zigmund.Online. “Everything that happens to us in adulthood is the result of adaptation systems built in childhood. Most likely, this is a reaction to the behavior of emotionally immature parents. The algorithm with which the girl interacts with her parents is considered the most successful by the brain, since it allows the little man to survive, whose life completely depends on adults.

Drama, of course, doesn’t always come out of the blue. Sometimes it’s more than just right. But to answer this question to the end, it’s always good to start with a direct and open dialogue. “Here you can look at areas of interaction in a couple where people don’t talk to each other. As a rule, money, time, personal space, sex and maybe something else.”

Any complications are built where it is impossible to say it directly and clearly due to the lack of a sense of security and perhaps the lack of clear communication skills.

How can I stop complicating things without the help of a psychologist?

“Changing the way we interact with the outside world has never been easy. Here it is worth identifying a few areas where it is important to ask yourself questions about what will change, how it will change, and why. How else will I feel the brilliance and fullness of my life? In other words, it is important to understand how the need fulfilled by the drama can be closed in a different way,” say Zigmund.Online experts.

Therefore, if you want to solve a problem without the intervention of a psychologist, do not forget to listen to yourself. Big changes always begin without an honest conversation, not only with a partner, but also with yourself.