I have a few toys with names and even personalities. I saw the two of them at Happy Meal and everything was a storm, a spark, a frenzy, then “friends” were added to them from the inside stores. It so happened that they became my loyal travel companions and even my helpers in bouts of aerophobia (it got to the point that once I got home, I risked missing my plane because I forgot my toys). Moreover, my partner accepts the rules of the game and brings these toys to life.
It would be weird if this story turned out to be stand-alone. But my colleague lives at home with a plush Piglet who definitely has personality and character, and all the friends who come to visit him have to say hello to him. Someone else has a huge plush cat that he always sleeps with.
Moreover, a close friend of his has a teddy bear with his name in the car, and in his words, “the car is his own”. And my Twitter follower has a black plush raven, who has obviously visited more countries than I have, and even has a tattoo the owner got in his honor.
It is important to note that all these people are between the ages of 22 and 43, they all have a stable income, career, personal life and clearly do not suffer from loneliness. Moreover, this topic is not taboo, I regularly see how people share photos of these toys on social networks, tell funny stories about them and involve others in the ongoing “performance”.
In order not to be limited to a story I could fantasize about myself and my friends, I turned to the example of celebrities and studied their social networks. So, Mariah Carey loves stuffed sheep, Johnny Depp swears her love for Barbie dolls, and Anna Asti repeats that. King Charles III has never left his teddy bear since he was a child.
Thus, the question arose in the editorial office: “Why do we adults love soft toys, “revive” them and are not ready to part with them?
They turned to a psychologist who was inclined to learn the details and largely (spoiler) believe when this behavior is normal and when there is cause for alarm, it is a sure sign of a fraudster.
Anna Chukseeva, psychoanalytic psychologist
Why do adults love soft toys?
In my opinion, the craving for children’s toys goes hand in hand with the general trend of adult infantilism, when adults retain their childlike characteristics, are in no hurry to start an independent life and take responsibility. There is even such a neologism – Kidalt, an adult child.
A toy for a child often becomes a transitional object: it replaces the parent, helps to calm down, fall asleep on its own. For this reason, many children have favorite toys.
In fact, in adulthood, a toy can also play a calming role, through it you can connect with your inner child, “put to sleep” him. Let’s say you’re upset and hug a plush shark – it’s big, tactile, and gives you a warm feeling like a blanket or hot tea.
And many people take toys with them on trips or “sit” in the car. What does this mean?
The toy can become a talisman and “live” in a car, office or travel with a person. Such a plush friend will become an anchor of pleasant memories and emotions, for example, you can hide a childhood toy or treat a gift with awe. In this case, the person transfers warm and pleasant memories and associations to the toy and therefore keeps it with him.
Why do people invent personalities for toys?
This process is similar to the process of mentally transferring a child’s parental characteristics to a toy. When a close adult is away, the toy serves as a symbolic substitute: you can hug it, snuggle into it. The child understands that it is not the mother, but associates warm contact with the toy, similar to contact with the mother.
A similar process can be experienced in adults, someone has an “excellent friend”, someone has an “excellent listener”. And here it is interesting to observe what features the toy has – most likely, those that were insufficiently supplied from the owner.
How the mechanism of the psyche works: Just as the child places himself in an important adult, so the person places his own role outside (an external object) as he is. It happens unconsciously. Plus, this happens not just between a person and toys, but between people in general. For example, one of the partners says that he cannot live without the other because next to him is worth something and without him is not worth anything.
I also remembered that in the Western perinatal practice, parents who lost a child during pregnancy or childbirth were given a soft toy that helped them mourn the loss. The toy symbolizes the departed child and helps to experience the grieving process.
Where is the line between normal or uncomfortable attachment to a toy?
If there is a measure in that, there is nothing critical in toys.
If a person can’t leave his toy, gets very nervous in his absence, believes that something bad will definitely happen without the plush talisman, etc. You must be careful.
A strong love of toys can be a detail of a psychological portrait. If a person has general problems with accepting responsibility, dependence on others, inability to form relationships or live independently. In this case, it’s worth telling your therapist about the presence of a plush friend.
Source: People Talk
Errol Villanueva is an author and lifestyle journalist who writes for The Fashion Vibes. With a passion for exploring the latest trends in fashion, food, travel, and wellness, Errol’s articles are a must-read for anyone interested in living a stylish and fulfilling life.
