How the DARVO Technique Enables Perpetrators of Domestic Violence to Reverse Guilt

DARVO, in English, stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. In other words, in French, denying, attacking and overthrowing victim and aggressor. A manipulation technique widely used by aggressors in the context of domestic, psychological and/or sexual violence, in order to pose as the victims themselves.

I really don’t have the words. The boy has just been SENTENCED the day before for domestic violence and turns the situation around to justify the slap. Limit he is the victim. He is too much. https://t.co/gvkGngxvz3

— Elodie Potente (@ElodiePotente) December 15, 2022

DARVO or how to make the victim look like the aggressor

This technique can invoke the gas lighting (also called cognitive inversion: a form of mental abuse in which information is distorted or misrepresented, selectively omitted to favor the abuser, or distorted to make the victim question their memory, perception, and mental health). The DARVO method was conceptualized in the late 1990s by Jennifer Freyd, an American researcher, author, educator, and speaker. Specializing in sexual abuse or psychological trauma, she mentions DARVO for the first time in the quarter Feminism and psychology devoted to feminist theory and practice in psychology in 1997. She describes it as a nightmarish process for anyone trying to hold them accountable for their actions or ask them to change their behavior. It results in perpetual attacks whose purpose is to instill fear, in particular through threats of legal action or direct and indirect challenges to people’s credibility, among others:

“Often we will try to ridicule the person asking for accounts […] The abuser quickly creates the general impression that he is being unfairly attacked and that his victim is, in fact, the abuser. Roles and responsibilities are completely reversed […] The aggressor is aggressive and the person who would try to hold him accountable is put on the defensive. »

Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt, R. Kelly… All fans of DARVO?

Does it remind you of anything? These people who, after being accused of domestic violence, both psychological and physical, attack their victim for defamation?

In fact, one can think of many public cases in which, after being accused of violence, an aggressor turns against his victim: in particular Donald Trump who, after the accusations made against him, presented himself not only as the victim of a conspiracy by of his enemies. Or even to R. Kelly who, sentenced last June to 30 years in prison on various counts including sexual exploitation of minors and extortion, also claims to be the victim of a deception. Even more recently, similar cases have been discussed in the press. In particular that of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt who filed a complaint for obscure pasts of exploitation of wine when she had asked for the opening of an investigation into him, as the alleged perpetrator of physical attacks against her and two of them children.

But the most emblematic recent example could be the legal battle that the American actress Amber Heard and her ex-husband Johnny Depp have been waging since 2017.

After being repeatedly accused of domestic violence by his ex-wife, Johnny Depp decides to sue her for defamation. Through this trial, which took place in 2022, the actor is trying to clear his name and is demanding $50 million in compensation from his ex-wife, claiming that she was actually the attacker. Both pleaded guilty to domestic violencethe processes used by Johnny Depp are largely reminiscent of DARVO: reversal of the role of victim and aggressor, denial of the facts … networks, making her look like a liar and a lunatic.

It discredits the victim, in the eyes of others and even of herself, to the point of madness

Again, this is a representative situation of DARVO and domestic violence. Maître Bonnaddition, a lawyer specializing in domestic violence, harassment and sexual assault, explains it:

” This reversal of roles is simply denying the other, throwing the blame on him, discrediting him and making him responsible for his own words. It is a total psychological possession, extremely violent, to the point that the victim begins to believe that she is insane. And appear crazy in the eyes of others, next to the aggressors who know how to make a good impression, appear very pleasant in society. Sometimes the victims are also interned for a certain period, so that their mental health deteriorates due to these daily manipulations. And the worst part of all this is that, from the outside, the victim is discredited. The victim’s family members also tend to agree with the abuser. Relatives will tell themselves that he is right, that he is the victim who is never happy, always in a bad mood, never smiling and nice, even hysterical in moments of anger… They just don’t do it Don’t think about the violence and manipulations occurred upstream and which caused this behavior. He also knows how to stay very calm, unlike the extremely destabilized victim, very psychologically weakened and therefore more prey to his emotions than he is.

A very common procedure in cases of domestic violence

While we are most often faced with this type of situation through the press in cases involving public figures, DARVO is a widespread process. In any case, domestic violence is as widespread as it has always been according to mastro Bonnagiunta, all the aggressors say they are more victims than guilty. All, without exception:

“Throughout my career, both in domestic violence and domestic violence cases, I have noticed this domestic violence perpetrators have never felt guilty about assaulting the other. When that happened, it was always the other person’s fault. If he has behaved badly, it is because his spouse has not behaved properly. He constantly blames her. This is a systematic case, not punctual. This is THE pattern of this kind of violence”

A recurrence that would be explained by a common origin of this violence, or rather a psychological weakness on the part of the attackers that would find its origins in childhood. A weakness that is also found in both the abuser and the victim:

“The aggressors and their victim could, for example, have suffered violence in their childhood, whether psychological, physical or sexual, not receiving enough affection… It is a very deep wound, but one that can be healed in therapy. . The problem is that, since the abusers are unable to question themselves, they will never recognize that they need help, and therefore will never start therapy.

A worrying lack of professional training

So, how can we be sure of clearly differentiating the victim from the aggressor, in a delicate situation in which the two people accuse each other of lying? Simply by learning about this type of technique which, as the lawyer constantly reminds us, is a very widespread, not to mention systematic, pattern.

The problem is that this ignorance of DARVO also affects professionals, who deal with victims on a daily basis or who have to take care of them. A worrying problem according to Maestro Bonnagiunta, which must be remedied as soon as possible:

” The aggressor will always make a good impression in front of a judge. The judge will therefore believe it more than the victim believes. who, as we said, are more in the grip of their emotions. It is therefore necessary to train the judges so that they know how to see behind this mask of manipulation, make them aware of this reversal of roles which unfortunately is not yet in step with the times. Most of the time they don’t understand the situation and rely on the attitude, posture and often they get screwed too. By overturning the sense of guilt we can exploit everyone: relatives, courts, even children, which often happens. »

A collective awareness to have therefore. The other solution is to train professionals and institutions so that they are able to analyze the problems behind these situations as objectively as possible. As soon as possible of course, to avoid repeating the same situations.

Front page photo credit: TikTok screenshot.