Decreased libido and desire to separate, when parents’ love life suffers a severe blow

You’ll see, it’s just happiness! If words are freed, in the collective imagination the arrival of a baby often remains synonymous with joy and contentment. To the point of ignoring the emotional tsunami that usually brings with it young parents and their couple. A study conducted by the IFOP on behalf of the Sleepyz.fr site questioned 1,001 parents of children under three about their love life. Not surprisingly, the arrival of a baby upsets the couple, and more particularly the women interviewed.

The clash between children: the crisis of the couple after the child

The baby clash is the small name given to the famous couple crisis that follows the birth of a child. While not all spouses are violently separated, the addition of a new member to the family equation and the fact that this new member requires a lot, A LOT of attention, can lead to tension within the duo. The study published by Sleepyz in collaboration with Ifop tells us that 81% of parents have already discussed parenting duties. 50% of them even thought about breaking up with their partner after the birth of their last child.

Beyond the organization of daily life, which changes radically, even the parents’ sexual life is turned upside down. Penetrative intercourse resumes on average between 3 and 7 weeks after giving birth, but 48% of parents say they make love less frequently than before and 75% of them have already stopped having sex for a reason related to the child.

Women most affected by lack of libido and intercourse pressure

If the frequency of intercourse drops and 86% of parents have less overflowing sexual energy, 85% of fathers still declare themselves satisfied. Mothers in this case are only 75%, which is not surprising if you know the physical and psychological upheavals that a birth entails. They are also 76% who suffer during postpartum vaginal intercourse. Despite everything, man’s desire remains a priority firmly anchored in our collective unconscious: 22% of the women interviewed made an effort without wanting to and 80% feared they were no longer desirable in the eyes of their partner.

If the study does not take these factors into account, it would also be interesting to know how much mental load affects women’s libido and can influence their tiredness and low libido. Currently they are still the ones who get up at night and are generally assigned to care.

Finally, remember that there are no good times to make love again after giving birth. Nor is sex just about sticking a penis into a vagina still a little traumatized by what she just went through. If the desire is there, it can flourish otherwise.

Photo credit image of one: Getty Images