Daronne is the queen of not-so-stupid advice dressed in a large dose of more or less subtle humor. Here she is back to save a reader!
The question for Daronne
Dear Daronne,
I have a worry that keeps me awake at night.
I have two children, a girl and a boy, whom I try to educate in an egalitarian and as less gendered way as possible.
Since this summer my three-year-old daughter has often asked to have her hair cut, like her brother. WHAT TO DO ?
On the one hand, not wanting to make a distinction between them, I would like to say yes. But how do you know if it measures the impact of such a cut? Currently with her curls she is the darling of adults, and it reassures me to know that she is also appreciated, I would be afraid she would change. I am also probably a little afraid of reactions to ME, especially of my less unstructured relatives. My husband shares my fears.
In short, I am torn, what should we do?
Signed: Edouard Sandbox Scissorhands
Daronne’s answer
My little blueberry soup,
You’re lucky, in another moment of my life I would have told you ” let that poor little girl shave her head, dare what people think “Fortunately for you, I have learned in the last few weeks that it is in my best interest to be more nuanced, at the risk of finding myself witnessing a chaos of commentary that is beyond my means. Because like hell, basically, I’m paved with good intentions.
It’s easy to overlook the intricacies of real life when you respond in writing. So it’s true, you should take the opinion of those around you very deeply in the buttocks, but we know how destabilizing this opinion can be. Dans les faits, on est beaucoup à être d’accord: les stéréotypes de genre devraient épargner les têtes pouilleuses de nos gamins (têtes pouilleuses qui pourraient justifier qu’on leur rase tous les tifs à pour ras éradiquer cette vermine immonde une bonne pour fois all).
Personally, I strongly believe that boys and girls should be able to dress alike. That didn’t stop me from cutting my son’s mullet as soon as he started looking like an 80’s footballer. Family genetics oblige, my daughter had the same mullet, but it quickly turned into a quilt, even the word antenna would be it was more appropriate as it gave the child the look of a vintage radio.
Talk to the child, or at least try
In your letter, you don’t tell me why your daughter absolutely wants to look like heroin Stranger things. We agree, the oral expression of three-year-olds is not yet fully developed and the density of their verve is often inversely proportional to the clarity of their words. But what you want, it is your role as a parent to listen carefully for hours of delusional speech to extract the sentence, or even the word, which will allow you to pinpoint the cause of this burning desire a little better.
Believe in my long experience as a Daronne reading articles on Psycho Very doctissimo, brats are strong at saying things that mean other things. You will tell me that if we had them born with a concrete and pragmatic brain, it would still be much less fun.
So maybe when we parents feel: I want to shave my hair “, The child wants to say” I want to look like my brother I admire “,” my bangs scratch my forehead, get me drunk ” or ” Bye bye bye lawn mower, poop with scissors! “.
And depending on the deep motivations of the dear child, you will surely find an alternative solution suitable for everyone. Because family life is just that: an infinite series of compromises that allows us to live together without killing each other or transforming the house into a Bouglione circus. Oh gee, sorry, I was told over my headphones that for this last point, it’s already too late.
What to offer to a little girl who wants to shave her head?
Since I don’t know why your daughter wants to shave her head, I’ve considered the solutions for all cases. I told you I was giving it my all this week. I have my redemption to win.
Stop shaving your brother’s head
As the childish saying goes: What’s yours is always much better than what’s mine. The lawn mower and shaving machine may seem all the more insane to her that she doesn’t have access to them. Perhaps the solution is simply to use the same tools to cut your brother’s and sister’s hair: scissors for everyone and hops, we don’t talk about it anymore. I don’t know your child’s age, but if the situation allows, you might as well grow his hair a little so that for once the brother is “copying” his sister.
Cutting with the lawnmower … But …
The good news, well, the good news in this specific case, in other circumstances this news isn’t of particular interest, is that clippers aren’t just used to shave skulls. A good hairdresser will be able to give your daughter a short but cute haircut, while she uses the coveted tool. Nothing prevents him from starting with the scissors and wielding the object at the end of the maneuver to “touch up” the stuff.
He will have “short” hair and a hair clipper has been used, the honor is saved!
The wire cut, GO!
You’ve tried everything, the baby doesn’t move. These things happen often, as these little creatures are more stubborn than donkeys. You can then offer him a deadline to take the plunge. For example, five years, which seems to me an age in which some aesthetic problems can already be better grasped. As you say yourself, it doesn’t necessarily have to be like that at three years old (honestly, I don’t know). If a specialist goes through this, I would like an additional opinion in the comments. The commentary was diplomatic. Thank you.
If, by any chance, the child took advantage of a moment of family inattention to cling to the lawn mower and tinker with the much desired hairstyle, remember one thing: judgments are painful, but they do not kill you, just as this cup will not kill those who they criticize her. At worst, it will give your loved ones a good chance to break some sugar in your back, an activity loved by all of humanity.
At best, it will give them something to think about. I hope this says that no one will change their behavior towards your daughter: betting on her appearance to protect her is an understandable strategy, but it will never be viable in the long run.
As for you, you can always invoke a ferocious invasion of recalcitrant lice to justify any radical hair changes. The benefit is twofold: not only does it clear you customs, but you can rest assured that jerks will avoid you and your daughter for a long time.
Come on, I’ll leave you, I have to go untangle my son’s hair, we have three hours.
bisetta,
Your daronne
Photo credit image of one: Getty Images Signature
Source: Madmoizelle

Ashley Root is an author and celebrity journalist who writes for The Fashion Vibes. With a keen eye for all things celebrity, Ashley is always up-to-date on the latest gossip and trends in the world of entertainment.