5 tips to make your “plaid love” last.

Before giving any valid advice, it is worth explaining what the cuff seasonwhich translates into French as “the season of love plaids”. That’s right, the clinical psychologist Estelle Dossin participated in the interview game to clarify the questions surrounding this practice. The latter defines this phenomenon coming directly from the United States as follows:

“So ‘love begs’ must already be recontextualized and linked to a season. This covers the beginning of autumn until the end of winter, that is, from October to February. Generally it is a season in which there is a natural decline, what in my jargon is called a narcissistic withdrawal. We need to stay at home for a while, in the warmth. The climate makes you want to cocoon. It is also a time when psychologically, we find ourselves with ourselves, we take advantage of ourselves. I always encourage people who are very sensitive to the seasons to take advantage of this period to take care of them. ”

Estelle Dossin

In summary, from All Saints to Valentine’s Day, singles feel the need to do it find a partner so as not to spend the coldest months of the year alone. Then, as soon as the good weather returns, they return to flutter by themselves. Estelle Dossin explains it all age groups are affected by this phenomenon :

“ In terms of the psychological reflex, not only affects all age groups, but also all socio-professional categories, it is something completely human. There are no more favored or disadvantaged people at this level. But what can privilege a category is psychosocial prejudice.

That is to say, if you are 35 or 40, you are more likely to be in a relationship, so this will encourage retirement for two. Between the ages of 20 and 25, young people are less often in a relationship, so they will approach this period of narcissistic withdrawal a little differently. But our relationship with seasonality is identical. Everyone has an archaic brain, a small part like this, at the base of the brain stem which is called the reptilian brain: when winter approaches, we want to roll up into a ball in a blanket. “

Estelle Dossin

The facts are supported by a study conducted by Hotels.com: the desire to connect as soon as the thermometer exceeds 15 ° C is there and affects everyone.

Five tips for the therapist for a successful “cuffing season”

You have to be spontaneous

“ This tip works for all types of relationships. I’m not going to tell you not to think. Because here we are, basically, in two. But you have to keep some spontaneity. The living things in your head are too complicated when it comes to “handcuff season”.

Estelle Dossin

Be transparent about your intentions

“ This is in my opinion the most important advice. You need to be clear and consciously choose your partner. It has to be a choice for both sides to avoid this feeling of opportunism. Once you have identified someone you know or have just met to pass this time, things should be very simple.

It’s a good mix of spontaneity and simplicity: let’s determine the situation for the next few months. We spend time together, things can happen under the covers or not, emotionally or sexually. All the better, as long as the two are in agreement and that it is part of a period and we’ll see later. “

Estelle Dossin

Don’t be too demanding from the start

“ A “plaid love” is a great way to discover each other, without complications. I see so many couples who pressure themselves from the start to find out if it’s the right one or the right one, if it will last … Long-term relationships are relationships that aren’t too demanding from the start. departure. They leave room for the other and for desire, and above all for one’s own desire. Basically, a good friendship is always a good harbinger of a good relationship. “

Estelle Dossin

Set aside the contingency of the couple

“From the moment you get ready for a three or four month relationship, you don’t ask yourself about the other’s ability to save to pay for their children’s studies, mortgages … We need to put aside all the complicated questions, which can upset and create dissensions within the couple, to focus on doing good and taking care of each other..

There is a whole contingency that belongs to the couple that is part of the duration, which does not appear to you. Simply because it is not the object or it is not the time. The peculiarity of the “season of the handcuffed” is the pleasure, it is the sweetness. “

Estelle Dossin

Have fun creating memories

“A ‘plaid love’ is defined by good times together, at home, but also outside, on trips, weekends, longer vacations if possible. Weekends are very suitable for ‘cuff season’.

Apart from the Christmas holidays, there are no major holidays during the winter. The Christmas holidays are spent more with the family, especially when the couple barely knows each other. The weekend is the perfect time to bond. It is a project that we keep together. That’s why choosing a partner is important, because you have to have the same tastes.

You will create memories. It is important if the couple evolves towards something more lasting, it will be very pleasant to remember this beautiful moment and want to reproduce it. Besides, it’s also an isolated moment in a small bubble, in a time that’s a bit of a big bubble. “

Estelle Dossin

Enter a contest to test your romantic relationship

For the psychologist the weekend remains a great way to test a “plaid love” to find out if he can sign up for the long term. In addition, he joined forces with Hotels.com to imagine a contest to give young couples the chance to prove themselves by spending a night in a hotel that looks like him, the perfect place for them:

“The concept is simple, especially for the participants, they will have to choose a partner and register. Then, I will choose from five partner hotels the one that best suits their personality. Maybe I won’t choose the hotel they would have thought of. If things go well with each other and they’re still together on Valentine’s Day, Hotels.com will give them an extra night at the hotel of their choice. “

Estelle Dossin

Now that’s all the secrets on the cuff season are relieved, you probably realize that you are in this kind of relationship? If you are in a relationship, take this time for yourself and to take care of each other.. You can use this time to explore, such as organizing short trips. If you are single, it is about taking advantage of this time to take care of yourself and do things you don’t have time for the rest of the year. In summary, this time of year has only advantages.