“Le couple et l’argent”, by Titiou Lecoq is the book not to be missed this month

With The couple and the money; Because men are richer than womenTitiou Lecoq signs an essay that is as educational as it is corrosive that decodes the fabric of financial and economic inequalities. All this by proposing solutions to finally settle our accounts.

Men are even richer than women

Anger and gratitude. This is what it feels like to close the new essay by Titiou Lecoq. Why with The couple and money, because men are richer than women – recently published by Editions Iconoclaste – the journalist and blogger, in particular the author of Set free! The feminist struggle is won in front of the dirty laundry basket (Fayard, 2017), confronts us with the financial and economic inequalities that we suffer, more or less consciously, in the course of our life. And, as after reading the percussion, The price to payvsand that the straight couple costs women by Lucile Quillet (The bonds that free), of which Lose I have already talked about it here, the addition is so salty that it is hard to pass.

The figures are astounding: between 1998 and 2015, the wealth gap between women and men increased from 9% to 16%., according to a study conducted in 2020 by economists Nicolas Frémeaux and Marion Leturcq. In the space of 7 years, this figure has therefore almost doubled even if we repeat that inequalities tend to shrink. And, it should be remembered, that the latest INSEE study ends with a wage gap of 5.7%, obviously to the detriment of women, in the private sector for the same position and the same company. Or again, that on average, women earn 32% less than their spouses.

“To women the gift, to men the power”

But why ? “We continue to associate femininity with giving, therefore with gratuitousness, and masculinity with power, therefore with money. These assumptions are reflected in our fiscal and economic policies, as well as in the way families operate on a daily basis. The dynamic of giving among women is simple, they have been assigned a mission: they have to take care of others. And they have to do it for free. Some form of sacrifice is expected of them “, Sums up Titiou Lecoq in his book. With pedagogy and humor, the journalist strives to detail the mechanisms that widen the economic gap between men and men. And this, throughout life, especially when we are in a relationship.

To illustrate his point and make it accessible to everyone, Titiou Lecoq – whose podcast we had already loved “Rends l’argent” – takes us, chapter after chapter, from pocket money to retirement, to Gwendoline’s love, family and economic relationships. She is an imaginary woman, created by all of us; you, me, your mother, your friends, the banker like the cashier.

“The more a profession is poorly paid, the more it is feminized, and the more it is feminized, the more it is poorly paid”

Gwendoline’s trajectory is a long addition weighed down by all the direct or indirect injunctions that weigh on us. Since adolescence, the vast war against our bodies that we consider too hairy, plump, pimply, not firm enough and the cost of this entry into the economic market of femininity to conform to the dictates that surround us.

As an adult, Gwendoline works in the “caring” professions, where she is underpaid, as well as all of these bonding and caring professions, which are nevertheless so necessary. In this regard, she raises Titiou Lecoq, “The more a profession is poorly paid, the more it is feminized and the more it is feminized, the more it is poorly paid”. Well, we didn’t leave the hostel.

free work for women

Gwendoline is straight – but, the author specifies, this topic also concerns same-sex couples -, she falls in love and ends up moving in with her boyfriend. Like nearly half of couples, they never talk about money. She earns a better living and when they become parents, she obviously goes part-time. She still does most of the household and parenting duties, this free women’s work considered a gift, but also a duty.

When separating from spouseGwendoline realizes that after 20 years of living together, she has nothing left, having not earned enough to repay the loan for her house or car. Gone are the thousands of hours spent cleaning and managing family life. Gwendoline has full ovaries, especially since she now has to take care of her elderly parents when her brother is “too busy”. All before living old age with a meager retirement having not contributed enough, nor put aside. Suffice it to say that at the time of the showdown, Gwendoline is furious, and so are we.

Dare to talk about money

But the good news in all of this is that, as Titiou Lecoq points out, nothing is inevitable. If we cannot personally change how the state works, we can get to know it better and sometimes get around it. Suppressed, “Social justice starts at home” and financial equality can be calculated. For this, you still have to dare to talk about money in general, and more specifically in your relationship. A subject that is still taboo for most of us. The author herself tells her personal story on the subject. But she also distills, without judgment, a great many peaks.

Here are some of them: take a concrete interest in the couple’s money (partner’s specific salary, life insurance, energy supplier, insurance, etc.); do your math to find out how much you contribute to expenses and what percentage of your income it represents; count the time of housework ; negotiate with your partner as fairly as possible; participate in large expenses, also and above all, if you have the lowest income of the couple ; see how your tax rate is calculated, if it is “individualized” or “personalized”; accumulate savings in their own name and not in that of their children, etc.

Mixing post mood tinged with irony, historical and economic essay full of references ranging from Kim Kardashian to Michelle Perrot, intimate story and small survival manual, Titiou Lecoq’s book is a great success. A book with an explosive effect that should enrich you, in every sense.

Cover photo: Unsplash / Manel & Sean