Why do we always ask for responsibility from women close to attackers?

Article published on March 23, 2021

“We will not act as if nothing had happened” This was immediately announced by Sonia Devillers in the preamble of her interview with Claire Chazal on 4 March broadcast on France Inter. A few weeks after Florence Porcel’s complaint against Patrick Poivre d’Arvor for rape, the little sentence suggests itit is impossible to evacuate the subject and it will be necessary to question the reporter – who was not only the colleague, but also the companion of the famous presenter of the 20 hours.

Like Claire Chazal, but also like Audrey Pulvar and Angèle, women close to men accused of molesters are constantly tested. Why is the media so interested in them? Why are they in the spotlight too? And above all, what does this attention reveal about our conception of sexual violence and our vision of who commits it?

Women to the aid of perpetrators

To talk about PPDA and the charges against it, Claire Chazal evokes the intimate, the love story to rehabilitate the journalist :

“What he especially likes is to seduce, convince, convince with words, with who he is, with his charm, even with his position, why not say it … But love is mysterious. “

Addressing Claire Chazal on the subject is not “illogical”, I would like to remind Valérie Rey-Robert. As for her defense of the PPDA, the author ofA culture of rape à la française: from the “troussage de servant” to the “freedom to disturb” points out that by being tied to him, the reporter may be inside “a conflict of loyalty” and wants “preserve the image” of the father of his soneven if they are now separated.

“There is also the fact that Claire Chazal is part of this generation of women who have worked in men’s jobs, who have had to go through very complicated things, who have internalized certain sexist behaviors and consider that this is part of a woman’s journey. We don’t complain, we take care of it. ”

More generally, once allegations of sexual assault are made public, the attention given to the defendant’s partner is aimed at finding out if she knew or not. But on one side or the other, whether she knew and said nothing or saw nothing, she will always be the loser.

“Finally, it is almost worse to be the wife of a rapist than to be the man who rapes”analyzes Valérie Rey-Robert. “You are necessarily guilty: and if you too have been a victim of violence, why didn’t you say anything? And why are you defending him? “ The feminist essayist also recalls that even the reproach addressed to these women is very essential:

“Being a woman does not give competence on sexual violence. Women around rapists are seen as more guilty, because being a woman should give them super eyes to see all things sexist. “

Sexual violence through the filter of romanticization and intimacy

“There is still a kind of reflex among some journalists, that of going to solicit women when we are in times of crisis, of conflict”, believes Charlotte Buisson. This researcher is currently working on media coverage of sexual violence cases within the political field. Her remarks led her to see how the issue of violence is systematically brought to the private sector :

“When we think privately, sometimes – unfortunately still – we think about women. So women are solicited on private matters, on family matters. However, we know this and hopefully it will become increasingly democratized: gender-based violence is eminently political and public. “

Charlotte Buisson refers to Frédérique Matonti’s reflections on the Dominique Strauss-Kahn affair in 2011, in particular on how the women’s press became interested in Anne Sinclair, his wife. This media tendency to report on the privacy of politicians has been analyzed what Frédérique Matonti called the “Harlequin shot”.

“The support she gave to her husband was very romantic, with twists reminiscent of the rosewater novels of the Arlecchino collections” Charlotte Buisson explains. At the time, the media are fascinated by Anne Sinclair and praise her unwavering support, her courage, her dignity, her fighting spirit, calling her a lifeline for DSK. And above all she is shown as a woman in love.

In her work, Charlotte Buisson is particularly interested in the Baupin affair. In 2016 Mediapart and France Inter published a survey on Denis Baupin, deputy EELV, in which fourteen women testified of sexual assaults and harassment.

From the revelations to the outcome in 2019 of the libel suit that the politician filed against the two media and the women who accused him, his wife, Emmanuelle Cosse, former Minister of Construction, was scrutinized:

“ In this case we have different readings, less fictional than Anne Sinclair’s, but definitely of genre. There was Emmanuelle Cosse, spokesperson for her husband, who defends him, then Emmanuelle Cosse “the friend betrayed” in reference to the testimonies [contre Denis Baupin, NDLR] by Cécile Duflot and Pierre Serne. Here she comes to mind her private life, her friendships, her betrayals.

And finally Emmanuelle Cosse, the feminist “wife of the rapist”. As a reminder, EELV is a party that claims to be feminist and equal, so the fact that she stands up for her husband has been very much compared to her feminist commitment to her. “

A way to discredit feminists

Because targeting these women close to the accused of sexual assault is too a golden opportunity for those who try by all means to discredit feminists.

This is exactly what happened to singer Angèle. While her brother, singer Roméo Elvis, was accused of sexual assault in September 2020, she was her sister whom some saw fit to claim responsibility. As if introducing herself as a feminist makes her even more responsible for Romeo Elvis’ actions …

The circulation of the hashtag # BalanceTonFrère has shown how easy it is to attack Angèle herself for actions that do not concern her. “This is where we see that people have nothing to do with sexual violence”deplores Valérie Rey-Robert.

“People were almost happy to be able to hit him. It is masculinism in reverse: an exploitation of sexual violence to target feminists, without ever worrying about the victims and why they spoke. “

The case of Angèle also illustrates the expectation that feminists have seen everything, analyzed everything, denounced everything : “We ask that feminists be exemplary, that they react to everything, immediately, do not make mistakes, do not feel emotions, on pain of being seen as inconsistent or accused, like Angèle, of duplicity” then explained to Madmoizelle Louise Delavier of the En Avant Tout (s) association.

Making women responsible for the crimes of the men they know is what happened again in the case of Audrey Pulvar. Last February the accusations of incest and pedophile crime against his father, Marc Pulvar, a figure of trade unionism in Martinique, were unveiled. From that moment on, the journalist and politician has been associated with the actions of her father, attacked in her commitments.

“No, it never occurred to me to report my father”, Audrey Pulvar explained to the France Inter antenna. She continues:

“It wasn’t my place to do that, and I didn’t know I knew. These things don’t happen in 24 hours, it’s a little more complex than that, especially for the victims. I’m here to tell anyone who thinks my cousins’ action is. a political maneuver, to hurt myself or to damage my father’s memory, that they are wrong. “

Create a voice of support for the victims

Taking the floor to discuss the accusations against her father, Audrey Pulvar recalled the difficulties that the victims have in speaking and reporting the violence suffered. “We must respect this word, we must listen to it, we must listen to it, respect it, and not devalue it by questioning it”He insisted.

A few days earlier it was Rose McGowan who took the floor to support those of the women who accuse singer Marilyn Manson of sexual assault: “He wasn’t like that when he was with me, but it doesn’t matter if he was like that with others before or after. It takes time to introduce himself.” The actress did not dismiss the words of the victims, nor did she highlight what she experienced with her ex-partner to undermine their testimony.

“Violence does not happen everywhere with all women”, remembers Valérie Rey-Robert. Cite the example of Johnny Depp, accused of domestic violence by Amber Heard and defended by Vanessa Paradis. As if a past relationship during which he didn’t engage in violent behavior was irrefutable proof that he couldn’t attack another woman years later. Claiming not to have been abused with Marilyn Manson, Rose McGowan did not suggest that he could not commit what several women accuse him of.

And while the women close to the attackers are still under observation, society does not make such demands on their male colleagues, their siblings, their close friends, their confidants. Wouldn’t we also have the right to question these men as to why they didn’t say anything? Or would this entourage have more right to say that it hasn’t seen anything?