Posted 13 October 2016
Updated October 3, 2018
It has been two years since my mother had to deal with breast cancer and I’ll tell you right away: everything is fine.
But, as in October, it is the mobilization of the Pink October and there is a lot of talk about this disease, I wanted to share with you this text that I wrote at the time, with an update.
My mother is fine. Even after the operation, I never got the impression that she was disappointed that she had dropped one breast. On the contrary, she was super positive, without denying.
I asked him to show me his scar, which impressed me a lot. Now he has given way to a new chest.
It was necessary to tame this new breast, the one that no longer trembles, but which allows my mother to feel whole again. She is off the hook now, and will continue to be followed over the years. I have a distant memory of this moment, as if it had been experienced by someone else. So don’t worry, this story has a happy ending!
My mother is over 50. Like all women of this age in France, she has free access to screening every two years. She this year she learned that she had cancer. A very small cancer of 4 mm.
Taking the shot after breast cancer diagnosis
I didn’t really know how I would react after her announcement, but one thing was obvious to me, I was about to turn into a veritable fountain of tears and snot.
Because I cry in front of everything that touches me, whatever the degree of importance: it is my way of being, of expressing my emotions.
However, there, nothing.
It’s like my tear glands are saying ” Francis [c’est moi], do not joke! We close the floodgates, there is no time to be sorry! “At the time I was afraid of being to deny : Did I realize what was going on?
Indeed, yes, but I told myself that it would not help my mother to feel her daughter hurt and sad, and that I had to remain impassive. And then I tried to reassure her based on her: the cancer was spotted early, it’s getting better and better … and any other information about the boat, but comforting.
I think that’s what he needed. Someone who doesn’t see her die, who will give her the strength to break everything.
Life continues despite breast cancer
My mother lives almost 3 hours by TGV from my home. So I alternated phone calls, text messages particularly stupid, send her a picture of a bouquet (she likes flowers), ask her for advice on food (how to make rösti) … who feels solicitedand above all not to ask her every 5 minutes how she felt.
The goal was not to behave as if nothing had happened but that life continued in spite of everything: he talked to me about his fears, his work, what he watched on TV, it became a topic of conversation. without taboos and necessary.
One night I sent her an MMS with many beautiful messages from my gang of friends. And then the day after I call her, she starts crying. I ask her what’s going on and she says:
“Frankly, I didn’t expect to get all this supportive evidence, love, this attention. I didn’t expect anyone to be there for me that much. “
This support was also between us: my aunt (my mother’s little sister), my older sister and I, we were really close. It was also a way to relieve my mother, to reassure her why we watched over each other.
Talk, talk, talk about breast cancer
The best advice I’ve ever been given (hi Fab) is just that speak. To my friends, my family, my colleagues (I love you squad To miss) and the baker (no I’m abusing). My mother followed exactly the same recommendation: she was able to argue with a former colleague who also suffered from the disease ten years ago, and she had the perspective to give her advice.
With my older sister, we wrote down our periods of relaxation and our crises of tears, to gently tease each other but also to give us this little virtual pat on the back that tells us that it’ll be fine.
Downplaying breast cancer and laughing at it
It is not very easy to play down, because I was afraid that my mother and those around me would think that I was minimizing the disease when not, I was just telling them a good BIG FINGER.
Are the jokes heavy? Who cares, for me the main thing was to have cancer and laugh about it, like when cartoon monsters are ridiculed and end up losing all credibility as a villain, in fact.
We had valves in all directionsabout having less breasts, the fat-based reconstruction proposed by my aunt and her alleged extra pounds (Auntie, you are perfect as you are), a future bra with the words ” Sold on one of the hats and so on … My mother laughs a lot.
Accept the operation: breast removal
The hardest part for me was accepting it my mother, who takes care of me from a very young age, being sick and frail she too. Do you know what the most disturbing thing is?
Is that my mother has a rather mechanical vision of his body: if a part no longer works, we take it out and change it, as long as it can still live, that’s all that matters. All he wanted was to get this disease out of her. And that’s what happened.
Once in the hospital, I was afraid of her missing breast reaction, to her scar. And then I see it go around with his exhaust and its bottle in a bag as if he were going to the grocery store. Smile at me and tell me she saw the scar and her already adopted.
I asked her how she did it be so zen and positivehe answered me : “ it’s the age “If at her age I was half her Zen, I would have really succeeded in my life!
We are still waiting for other results, to know how the future will go. My mother sees us, my sister and me, to the limit. And she cares about us, like a old tenacious and reassuring habitwho did not leave.
Damn, she impresses me. A real selling point, this girl.
Front page photo credit: Anna Tarazevich / Pexels
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Ashley Root is an author and celebrity journalist who writes for The Fashion Vibes. With a keen eye for all things celebrity, Ashley is always up-to-date on the latest gossip and trends in the world of entertainment.
