“Do you want children?”: What to answer this question (outbreak) in a job interview?

Article originally published on March 25, 2019.

It’s crazy how much our womb and what happens there seems to interest recruiters. When you are a woman between the ages of 20 and 40, it is not uncommon for you to be asked in a job interview if you have children or if you plan to have them in the next three decades years. A question that strangely enough is never asked of men of age for being fathers …

What does the law say about personal interview questions?

However, legally, in a job interview you can only ask questions directly related to the position offered. This is specified in article L1221-6 of the Labor Code.

“The information requested from candidates, in any form, can only be used to evaluate their ability to fill the job offered or their professional skills. This information must have a direct and necessary connection with the job offered or with the assessment of professional aptitudes. “

We therefore ask ourselves how the fact of having children or not affects your professional skills. In a pinch, the recruiter may tell you there are necessary trips or staggered schedules and ask you if it’s compatible with your personal life, but that’s about it.

“Are you planning to have children? “: HR freewheeling on the highway of illegality

It should also be noted immediately that discriminating against someone because of their family situation is obviously completely illegal, according to articles 225-1 and 225-3 of the criminal code. Obviously, it’s not easy to prove on the candidates side, because companies are smart enough not to write an email saying in black and white: “We don’t hire mothers, sorry”.

However, if you feel that you have been discriminated against for this reason, do not hesitate to contact the Defender of Rights, who can advise and support you in your steps. A small online manual has also been created to give marbles against discrimination against pregnant people.

In some cities, there are also free legal hotlines, with lawyers who can answer your questions.

The theory is fine, but in practice how can we prepare ourselves to answer this question? After all, if you clearly remind him that asking such questions is forbidden, it can jeopardize your chances of getting the job.

If you don’t have children or don’t want to, you may be tempted to simply answer the question by telling the truth. Firstyou won’t need it, but it risks maintaining the phenomenon, with recruiters continuing to ask this question to all candidates.

Lying or telling the truth in a job interview?

If you want to have children in the near future (or if you are already pregnant at the time of the interview), you may be wondering if you can lie about this. Know that you are under no obligation to disclose your pregnancy or pregnancy plans during a job interview. This can never be used later as a valid reason for your new employer’s breach of contract.

You can then answer in the interview that you currently have no plans for the baby, so announce your pregnancy at the end of the probationary period, this can never be used against you to fire you. On the other hand, in fact, relationships can therefore be a bit strained within the company, or with your N + 1.

In fact, it’s up to you to think: do you really need / want this position? Are you ready to work in a company for which motherhood is an issue and / or with a boss who will be upset if you announce your pregnancy in six months? The answer is up to you, because every situation is different.

When faced with an intrusive question in the interview, refocus the discussion

However, what I highly recommend is NOT to answer this question, regardless of your personal situation. This is the advice that a recruiter gave me one day and that I found super useful, so I share it with you. When I am asked in an interview with a question that has nothing to do with my skills or position, I skillfully try to refocus the discussion on my professional aptitudes and motivation. All with a big smile, without being aggressive but standing still. Example :

– Do you think you will have children soon?
– What matters to me right now is to get this job for which I think I am completely competent because blablablabla.

Not only do I not answer your inappropriate question, but I also send the message that we are here to talk about my abilities. If he or she insists, I give him, with a bigger and bigger smile, variations around this answer.

You can also return his application to the recruiter or recruiter by being naive. “Why are you asking me? This is the first time this question has been asked of me, so I would like to be able to answer it in the best possible way”. He or she is likely to tinker and move on.

Being naive: “Children? What is this ? “

The direct question “Do you have children? “ it’s a bit more complicated. You can try to get out of it by rephrasing:

“Maybe you want to know if I can go on business trips or stay up late some nights? I can assure you that I am always strongly committed to my work, regardless of my personal situation ”.

Finally, you can also say that you always strive to separate professional and personal life, and that this has no impact on your ability to carry out the missions entrusted to you. In any case, I advise you to answer in a vague way and to bring the discussion back to the theme of your abilities and your motivations, avoiding entering into confrontation. Obviously, it’s easier to get there if you prepare in advance.

Using this technique will also give you more insight into how the business works. Does the recruiter insist on getting a response? Or does the conversation move to other topics? In the first case, it seems to indicate that motherhood is a real problem in this company and, personally, it blows me up in the head.

Finally, some friends confided in me to get out of these rotten situations in interviews with a pirouette:

– Are you planning to have children in the next few years?

– Because ? Do you want to do this to me?

And hop, that’s how we send the malaise back to the sender’s side.

Feature Image: © The Circle