My boyfriend refuses to pay for contraception. Am I on a sex strike or what?

Daronne is the queen of not-so-stupid advice wrapped in a touch of more or less subtle humor. Here she is back to save a reader!

The question for Daronne

Dear Daronne,

My boyfriend and I have no children and would like to switch to permanent contraception. well … I thought …

I wanted to have my tubes tied, but since “I’m only 25 years old blah blah” my gynecologist didn’t want to and it really scared me. So I suggested that my boyfriend have a vasectomy done.

He’s bigger, he’s less invasive, and he’s 1000% sure he’ll never want a baby. WELL DID YOU SAY NO? Presumably, something is bothering him, and then he’s afraid it’ll hurt him, and then he’s pushy anyway …

Even though he didn’t see the problem with my ligature. And in the meantime, I have an IUD that’s completely messing with me.

Help me!

You kiss

Delfina

Daronne’s answer

My apricot jam donut,

Before replying to this letter, I went for a drink with friends of my kind. Since I had to get back to work, BECAUSE ANSWERING frankly it’s TAF, I dropped a: “I’ll leave it to you guys, I have to write to a reader whose boyfriend refuses to undergo a vasectomy when she was ready to have her tubes tied. This time he’ll go fast, I’ll just tell him to buckle up until he gives up. “

I was expecting applause and Yep, we’re fed up with these guys and their little manhood issues! “

WHAT NOT!

The answer was the following: well yes, but wait, we want to burn it all because these stupid supreme judges avoid the inalienable “My body, my choice” and you are not the last to rebel, and there under the pretext that he is a boy, he is no longer is it worth anything? Your body, your choice, is for everyone. ” Blow.

In short, today I will give you several exclusive opinions, including mine. First. Obviously.

Stay at the transformed donkey inn

So, if I understand correctly, you were ready to go. And he was ready enough for you to face it. But when you didn’t make it, due to patriarchy, the guy in your life revealed that while it was fine for him to sacrifice your internal genitals, it was different for him. Well, let’s say, maybe he doesn’t consider his body more precious than yours, maybe he’s just afraid of scalpels.

However, he pissed me off and my first reaction was to say to myself: it’s okay if he doesn’t want to stick to this, too bad for him. Nothing fucking until he changes his mind.

I know it’s a bit extreme, but on the other hand, even when we show restraint things don’t change and we keep taking all the mental burdens in our faces.

So I say what I think, like it or not, like the big boom I am. If he was ready to pass you over to the pool table, but refuses to undergo a 10-minute procedure under local anesthesia, he simply has to sit on it. Shit in the end.

What do you want, this week, I’m too dead (I know, I was already dead last week, but at the same time the world is the big bullshit right now, which must absolutely not make the Martians envy that spy on us in secret.).

Return to the land of my body, of my choice

By telling everyone about your contraceptive problems (well, at least the people I was out with that night) and my draft response, I figured I’d find unanimous support from the group, which I know from a reliable source who shares my values ​​on such. matters.

A friend, however, reminded me that for a few days we had a seum abominable and that we have gone mad to death, precisely because the notion of my body, my choice had been repealed. And that even though your boyfriend was a boy and that time made you (very very very much) want to be miserable, it was still his body and it was still his choice.

His answer: ” if the boy does not want to deal with it, it is up to him and he has the right to do so, but on the other hand, he must provide contraception on his own and reliably. OTHERWISE HE PUT IT BEHIND THE EAR (I added it, hihihi).

Maybe she can convince him?

My social life is hectic and a cisgender guy present also joined our conversation. Well, in real life, it’s because I asked his opinion. He wasn’t afraid snip’snip ‘ and he shared his experience, so that I, in turn, shared it with you, so that you, in turn, shared it with your boyfriend. I also took the opportunity to look for information from other guys around me interested in the subject. So here it is:

• The surgery takes 10 minutes. It is performed under local anesthesia.
• It doesn’t really hurt, but you need to stay calm for a few days and not wear anything. If you want my opinion, this is the perfect opportunity not to joke while others do everything for you. If you were me, I would NEVER miss a deal like this.
• The biniou works exactly as before.
• Bullheads always produce tadpoles. Personally, I don’t really see the point, but who am I to judge sensitive arguments of masculinity, so I’ll specify that anyway.

  And just in case, I’ll put this here: even if the bathers do not evacuate the sled by natural means, “they self-destruct after a few days, or they reabsorb”. I can’t clearly imagine the process, but at least I can guarantee you that no coucougnette is likely to explode in the process.

• And ABOVE ALL, there is no longer the risk of putting a small punch in the drawer of the person opposite. And when you know that this kind of thing grows like weeds and that in a few months it is absolutely gigantic and destroys all your food supplies, that’s no small advantage.

Come on, I leave you, I have nothing in particular to do, but I also have nothing more to say. OH YES ! One last thing, check out this link – it’s a list of gynecologists safe who practice permanent sterilization in all people with fallopian tubes. Because hey, we’re talking about the fucking gentleman, but it’s unbearable that we won’t let you decide for yours.

bisetta,

Your daronne

Photo credit image of one: andresr