40 years, single and childless: that’s why I’m better than ever

I am almost 40 years old, I have no children and I am single. At the beginning, it was not a choice to want to be “extraordinary” and live my whole life as a single, on the contrary. I believe that for a long time my desires were very simple and modeled on the traditional model.

I too wanted a lover, children, a family, a house, a dog (and a pony!), But was it what I really wanted or what had been instilled me during childhood?

Take off in social pressure

It took me many years to detach myself from this social pressure and really know me. I have gone through many failures, numerous introspections and many depressions for a day to suppose what I was.

Before 30 years, people continued to ask me every day: “Why don’t you have a lover?” And when are the marriage and the children? ». I will not deny it, it was torture. Without forgetting this small internal voice that repeated to me every day: “Hey, my saucepan, soon 30 years there, you have to find a boy and reproduce yourself!” ».

This inner voice is not cool at all and fucks you a fucking pressure with the help of your friends and loved ones, always there to remind you that the short time, Tic Tac Tac Tac.

As I approach my thirtieth birthday, I felt abnormal and rejected. All these oppressive speeches made me send the message that if I had not achieved these goals before my thirtieth birthday, I would have lost my life.

Under the permanent pressure of the company, I ended up making a suicide attempt.

Single, I always believe in love

But luckily, I loved life too much, and after this unfortunate gesture I estimated that I had to understand why I suffered but above all what I was. Understanding is the basis of all evils, once you know, you can heal the wounds, reconstruct and go on.

And finally, the worst is not before 30 years, the worst is later. Because after 30 years, if you have not checked all the boxes, you are considered “in bankruptcy”. I was not rejected by those around me, but now nobody asks me the fateful questions: “So, do you have a lover? And the marriage? And the children?”

At the beginning I found it cute, well, I could breathe! And then I realized that if people did not ask me these questions, it is because they did not want to know the reasons for this choice of life, that they were afraid of my responses, potentially embarrassing. People no longer ask me how my sentimental life is, as if they had accepted that it was over and that nothing could happen.

It could be surprising that you feel from a hardened bachelor, but I believe in love and even in eternal love. If I had made the choice, I could have also had a relationship, married and with children. I met the guys well in my life, who would bring me a comfortable and pleasant life, but my greatest anxiety has always been to be with someone I didn’t like anymore, only for social convention.

I am at peace with myself and my beliefs

For me, this is the basis, I don’t see my love life otherwise that next to someone I would like to deeply. I have absolutely nothing against marriage or having children, but on condition I feel real feelings. I have never been able to accept a man in life just to start a family. And even if I tried, younger, to show myself that I was normal too, my beliefs have reached me very quickly.

In short, I await great love, and if my entourage now thinks that it is lost, I continue to believe that we can meet him at any age: tomorrow, in 5 years, at 60 years old, or perhaps never …

I still accepted the idea that I might not have a great love or children and that I could end up alone (with cats!) But this does not depress me. For that? Quite simply because I am at peace with myself and my beliefs, I am ready to love, to love, and in the meantime I look at people to love each other, and it is simply beautiful!

Single, without children, I’m fine!

Today I kiss my celibacy as I have never done, he I saw before as a weight. He accompanies me in my research complicated by truth and confirms me in my choices.

I wanted to share my testimony because I know they are not an isolated case: there are other people like me, who could still be lost, solitary, not encouraged … do not dismantle yourself, do not feel obliged to do things that are not in tune with your beliefs because they dictate you. It is not because we are a minority that we are abnormal.

Celibacy is not a weight, on the contrary, it offers an incredible luxury: the freedom to be able to make your choices and live your life as wishes. I am almost 40 years old, I am single and without children and I’m fine, thanks!

And you also suffer from this social pressure to “archive” yourself? Or on the contrary, are you only interested in?