Wait for marriage for his first time: my experience, without taboos

“Wait for wedding to sleep?” What to do? It doesn’t make sense and I will never get there! And in any case it is no longer done these days, right? This is approximately my state of mind waiting for the marriage to make his first time when I was a teenager.

Wait for the wedding for the first time?

Even if I respected this choice – as long as it was made in any case and without any pressure – I knew it was simply not done for me. I wanted to experiment with sexual joys as soon as possible.

Ten years later, at 25, I have been married for two months. I did my first time with the man I married … And I don’t think about it!

To return a little back, it is important to specify that I grew up in an atheist family and that nobody has ever encouraged me to wait to get married with sleep. My parents trusted me completely and did not want to influence my decisions. From time to time we happened to talk about romantic relationships and sex. Neither too much nor enough, in my opinion.

I’ve never been ready to do the first time

However, it was only at the age of 20 that I had my first boyfriend, why I was rather shy in nature and I didn’t necessarily dare to approach the boys. This relationship went well and the one that also followed, but we never went to bed. Each time, the same diagram was repeated: the boy wanted to take the big step, but I was not ready.

I found the situation inappropriate or unexpected. I was in love and physically I wanted (a lot), but my mind blowing the opposite. Assaillie with doubts, I tried to understand what was wrong. To try to understand me alone.

I asked myself this fundamental question: ” Who do you want to do with? ». The answer came to me: ” I want to do it with someone who loves and respects me, and who love and respect in return ».

Religion and my decision to wait for marriage to have my first sexual relationship

In the meantime, having become a believer, I think that my vision of love has evolved naturally and gradually, especially when I thought about the love of Jesus for me. It was something much deeper, more beautiful than I had never imagined.

After thinking about it succinctly for about three months, In the end I came to the conclusion that I was about to wait for the wedding Because it seemed logical to me. “” Someone who loves and respects me, and someone I love and who respects It was no longer just a vague idea, but it made sense in the context of marriage: this total commitment for the other.

I was so happy with this decision that part of me just wanted to talk to everyone! I wanted someone to know what was going on in me and that I had made this decision alone. But I was also a little worried that this choice was not understoodOr even criticized … and when I talked about some people around me, their reaction was ultimately neutral enough.

My relationship with the man I was about to marry

A few months later, what would become my husband and who had met at the university contacted me. He was a friend’s brother and we hadn’t talked about for about two years, because we weren’t particularly close at the moment.

We started to exchange every day and became excellent friends. Then we went out together. I heard it This relationship was different from the others.

He is 5 years older than me and was no longer a virgin, because in the past he had already had a girl. But even if he did not have a “bad” sexual experience with the girl in question, he wanted to do things differently this time. Being also a Christian, he was convinced that marriage was the ideal context and the best thing to do. A real connection between us had formed due to various and various discussions, all without sex.

The same goes for our vision of marriage and to take the big step. Everything has always been very natural in our relationship because we had the same vision of things and we had no problems to be 100% honest towards each other. Two years later, we are married here and I have absolutely no regret. It is rather the opposite.

Our sex with sex without sex

For the small anecdote, we kissed for the first time immediately after making his marriage proposal (it was not my first kiss, far from it). We had come out together for just under a year and until then we were coming by the hand, often Cauddano and we had a lot of fun together, all without kisses.

Even if we wanted it a lot and that it almost happened, we wanted to know each other first. Having said that, this is not at all a rule that had been established, we have not told ourselves “no kiss before this or that”.

We hadn’t planned to kiss for the first time during the marriage proposal, It only seemed to us to be the appropriate time. In emotion, we spontaneously approached each other before exchanging a kiss. It was beautiful and I am very happy with the way things happened.

Before the wedding we kissed each other and we took our arms, but we did nothing further. Obviously, sometimes it has been (super) difficult, but it is feasible: you can control yourself and avoid trying yourself. Everything was, rather than creating a list of rules and prohibitions, To remember why we had chosen to do it And what were the advantages of waiting. Knowing that we live these advantages on a daily basis now.

My fears and questions about sex

As for sex, like every girl, I think, Obviously I had some fears. I had heard of sex and I read the topic over and over again from my adolescence, because it is inevitably a topic that intrigues itself. At that time I read novels ” New adult And I had lost several times in the den of pornography because, once again, curiosity and envy aggravate our desires.

In addition, most of my friends had lost their virginity in front of me, especially in high school. They were very open to this and he did not hesitate to share their experiences. I remember that once we talked about “how to be successful in Fellatio”, the difference between the circumcised and accidental penis, etc.

With what would become my husband, we also read several books on the subject and discussed together. Even the couple of the Church who accompanied us in the preparation of the wedding was there to support us and to discuss what seemed necessary to us, without forcing us to enter the details of anything.

Despite everything, as I said, I still had some fears because I knew that the first time could hurt, that there could be blood, etc. All these little physical things stressed me a little, even if I was more impatient than anything else.

Emotionally, however, I had no doubts about my choice. I knew I was with the right person, who loved me and respected me, and it doesn’t matter if my performance was not typical.

My first time with my husband

We didn’t have a particular plan for this first night. Although obviously we had talked about our expectations several times and we agreed that our only goal was to have fun together, while we went to my pace.

We didn’t even have to go in the end or do anything but fall asleep next night on the first night. And that’s what happened. Once the time comes, everything happened much more naturally than I would have thought.

I had no problems blocking them in front of him, without fear, without a doubt. We discovered the body of the other step by step, without going to the end of the act, because it was 3 in the morning and we were quite exhausted after the weekend of madness that we had spent with our families and friends.

This first time was absolutely unique and fantastic Because for the first time, we had expressed with our bodies the love that we felt internally for each other. We were united at all levels, both physically, mentally and spiritually. We went in the end the next day and, despite a certain discomfort and two three drops of blood, I felt incredibly well.

I don’t regret having waited for the wedding to do my first time

With hindsight, I tell myself that I could have acquired experience with other guys before getting married, but for what? What really brought me to my current situationIn addition to perhaps remembering mental images in moments or poorly favorable comparisons?

Yesterday we celebrated our two months of marriageAnd we have not yet become porn star – and this is not our goal – because we continue to learn. Together, with joy, risatine and good humor. Our intimate moments continue to improve and we both feel total freedom. We know we have all our time for this and that there is no “race”.

I know I have a whole life in front of me to learn with the right person and improve us together. I already see the progression we did, when, for example, I did not know how to move the hips at the beginning, or that we did not dare express our pleasure too oral. The beauty of sex with the man I love, who respects and who loves me and respects me: I will not change it at all in the world.