Chronicle of a lady: Brawls Stars killed me

According to a new WHO report, problematic use of social media and video games among adolescents has increased dramatically in recent years. The report defines problematic use as a pattern of behavior characterized by symptoms similar to those of addiction. The phenomenon is more accentuated among girls for social networks, and among boys for video games. And the effects on well-being and mental health no longer need to be proven. These conclusions cannot help but frighten each of us. However, I am (a little) reassured because my children are far from the average daily screen consumption described in the report.

I believe that my generation (I was born in 1983) is perhaps the one most horrified by this omnipresence of screens in children’s lives. At 14 I received my first cell phone, a so-called chameleonic Nokia that only allowed me to make calls, even though I spent hours playing Snake, this stupid game that consisted of directing a snake without touching the walls while it ingested foods that made it grow . Do you remember? My children, it is on another level.

No social networks

At 11am and 1pm they each have a cell phone. Until now they have limited access to games and Whatsapp. They don’t have the Internet. Neither of us still consults social networks like Instagram, Snapchat, Tiktok… And I intend to keep them away from them for a long time. Besides the laptop, there are video games, the famous Switch which they recently abandoned in favor of a much more addictive mobile game (I mentioned the stars of Brawls) and TV. When I was their age I watched Hélène and the boys, they watched YouTubers playing video games on the big screen. I’ll understand…

The wolf in the sheepfold

Very soon I realized that my children, like the majority I imagine, were incapable of regulating themselves and could play without limits all day, even all night. So we had to put in place some strict rules: no games during the week, Whatsapp sparingly, Netflix only on weekends and that’s it. My husband remotely controls their devices. Can block some apps, give 15 minutes, 30 minutes. Teenagers, in difficulty, can call him up to 30 times at the end of the day to ask him “TIME”. Fortunately, I manage to escape.

One minute + one minute + one minute +…. = one hour

We might think that this system is simple and effective, but this is not the case at all. Little cheaters are looking for the slightest misstep. An app left freely accessible, the timecode of the screen captured behind us. And they found the solution. Every time they turn on their laptop, while the software is installed, they are still entitled to one or even two minutes of gameplay. Well, they repeat the process several times and sometimes manage to play for up to two hours.

The fault lies with Brawls Stars, this very addictive game that worries specialists. Children play competitively with their friends, play a series of games to catch up and win… trophies. In any case, they can always pay small sums to advance in the game which add up and in the end you can quickly shell out a hundred euros. In short, an aggressive business model, well described in this article.

How to react?

Since having a cell phone, I really realize how easily we become addicted. Even when they have no access to anything, they remain fixed on the object, absorbed. You’ll tell me like all the people on the subway. Children force us to have a ‘magnifying glass effect’ on our behavior, it’s true.

Sometimes I suddenly enter their room and see them lying on the bed, focused on their cell phones. In a fit of annoyance I take the devices and hide them among my things (sometimes I can’t find them again). Then I repent, and face reality, I cannot separate them from their peers, I cannot deprive them of Pronote. I am forced to live with my children and their cell phones. I am well aware that the very harsh climate we are creating is not the solution, but do we really have a choice?

All this for that

A big waste, that’s how I feel sometimes. I did my best to awaken my children, to make them want to be interested in the world and cultivate themselves. For what result? So that they are like the neighbor’s children* who eat screens from birth. I believe that the peak of children’s curiosity is around 8 years old and after that it slowly decreases. It makes you wonder why I’m trying so hard to deprive my little ones of cartoons.

I wonder why I get so excited when I see them play. It unleashes the anger in me. At the same time, they are in a state of agitation, completely possessed. I can make them feel so uncomfortable that they don’t realize it. I’m constantly torn between these two feelings, throwing my phone in the trash or letting it go completely. The solution lies between these two extremes. And you, how do you do it?

*My apologies to my neighbor. It was obviously an image.