In March 2020 (the day after Women’s Rights Day), I put my ovaries on the tableIt took 30 years.
The click came a week into early February. On Monday, I caught a coworker taking a picture of my butt. On Tuesday, another coworker patted me on the butt with a badge. On Wednesday, I received an inappropriate comment.
After a year and a half on the mission, I had reached my limit. I was depressed and was about to leave the company. I arrived at work with a knot in my stomach. I had already left a previous company for the same reasons and seeing the scenario repeat itself made me angry, especially because this time the mission was extremely interesting.
Luckily, since then I have gotten into the habit, when I have this feeling of discomfort, of taking notes on what bothers me. These were the deviant phrases, but it can also happen when I am close to a person I perceive as toxic. This allows me, once I have accumulated the notes, not to question myself, or a hypothetical paranoia, and to try to act to stop the person/situation with facts to support it.
I went to visit the other women in the open space (well, out of 70 men we are 15, of which 20 have problems) and the vast majority told me: “Yes, there is a real problem”. And I saw that my suffering was shared and yet none of us had burst the abscess before. Many had minimized the extent of the situation or had forgotten the sentences. When I read them everything I had written in six months, they relived certain situations and they realized that in reality almost all of them had regularly suffered such violence.
I then worked in the IT department of my company, a core and autonomous department that prided itself on following its own rules from the rest of the company. The previous management of my company had let this happen for years, even encouraging, quote, “the spirit of the Gallic village”. Deviant phrases were everywhere, all the time, it was part of the “normality” of the box.
With the previous management I would have had to continue my action without notifying anyone. I had the impression that, in any case, I would have had to leave my mission, both because nothing would have changed, and because everyone would have turned their backs on me after my complaint. In the end I went to see the new management, I told them: “I have a plan, let me explain it to you, I need it”. My director, astonished, replied: “ Ok, you do it and I’ll knock them out right after…
According to Article 222-33 of the Penal Code, sexual harassment is “the repeated imposition on a person of comments or behaviors with sexual or sexist connotations that undermine their dignity because of their degrading or humiliating nature, or create an intimidating, hostile or offensive climate.”
“The act, even if not repeated, of resorting to any form of serious pressure with the real or apparent aim of obtaining an act of a sexual nature is considered sexual, whether this is sought for the benefit of the perpetrator of the harassment committed or for the benefit of third parties. […] »
As the Ministry of Labor website recalls, when it will take place “In the context of employment relationships, sexual harassment can take various forms: blackmail for hiring or promotion, threats of retaliation in case of refusal to give in to sexual advances, etc. The perpetrator of the harassment may be the employer, but also a colleague of the victim, a consultant in charge of recruitment, a client of the company, etc..”
When the perpetrator has had physical contact with the victim, it is sexual assault, which is a more severely punishable crime than sexual harassment.
Make abusers and harassers face their actions
So one morning, I took out a lot of inappropriate phrases and gestures that I had written down over the past year, printed each one on an A4 sheet, in blood red, and covered the walls of the open room with them. It was about pussy, ass, breasts, rape, it was downright vulgar and oppressive.
It had its little effect. At first, the bullies laughed while watching their sentencesthen seeing that there were so many of them, he began to get angry and keep quiet. Hurray!
Everyone was just talking about this, those who didn’t care were shocked, idiots downplayed the facts, but everyone was discussing it.
What followed was a meeting that the entire set was supposed to attend. There the management took over. The director talked about the girls she went with and also the boys who didn’t understand why she allowed such a sexist atmosphere. She talked about psychological suffering.
Then he spoke criminal offensebecause this is precisely the category we find ourselves in. According to the penal code:
“The reported facts are punishable by two years of imprisonment and a 30,000 euro fine.
These penalties are increased to three years of imprisonment and a fine of 45,000 euros when the acts are committed by several people acting as perpetrators or accomplices or when they are committed by a superior. »
Penal Code
As for touching, let’s move on to sexual violence, and there it is. five years in prison and a 75,000 euro fine.
There the director took the floor and announced that at the first inappropriate phrase that came to his attention, he would immediately fire the person. Well, clearly, he ruined the mood in the room. The reactions were mostly positive. Others were more awkward than anything else: I have heard many similar categorizations of harassment “A hand on the butt ohlala is not normal, but a ‘Do you want to go out with me?’ is nice.”. Others were distressing, one loser even told me he had no intention of stopping there.
I told him that if he said the slightest inappropriate thing I would report him to management and that I would have no qualms. He remained sulky and never did it again.
This year, I have spoken and I hope to leave behind today the burdens that I have been carrying for years : the companies I left because I couldn’t take it anymore, all the times I gritted my teeth and said nothing, all the times I felt so alone and ignored.
I have never had any regrets, unless the names of the authors of the sentences were written on the posters. For all the girls with me and for all the girls after me, I finally had to react.
For four years I have never heard any inappropriate comments about this set 😉 Many of these idiots quickly abandoned the project. I didn’t experience the rejection phenomenon I feared.. So clearly only positive aspects.
If you are a victim of sexual harassment at work, you can file a complaint against the alleged perpetrator(s) through the criminal justice system.
The complaint must be filed within six years of the last event (a gesture, a comment…) of harassment.
Justice will take into account all the elements constituting harassment even if the facts have occurred over a period of several years. If the complaint is rejected and you wish to continue the procedure, it is possible to file a complaint with the constitution of a civil party.
You can also notify your employer through your CSE. The employer must take all necessary measures to prevent acts that constitute sexual harassment.. If he has failed to fulfill his legal obligations of prevention, you can take him to court (to the labor court in the private sector, to the administrative court in the public sector) to obtain compensation.
As a victim, You are not required to inform your employer that you have filed a complaint against the alleged perpetrator of harassment, and you cannot be penalized for reporting these facts.
You can also contact the Rights Defender. This applies to both the offender and the employer.
Source: Service-public.fr
Anthology of phrases and situations experienced by Mathilde and her colleagues
Self don’t worry about feeling nauseoushere is the detail of what was posted that morning (in raw form and without context, sorry).
“A colleague has a girlfriend who wears a skirt: what is this dress?
(addresses a director) – Do we have the right to harass?
Manager : – Here we have the right, it is a space of freedom, here we are united. »
“You have friends in another club pole (penetration signs), you can call them to deal! »
“After a girl jokes, he pretends to spank. »
“I have a question to ask.
– What if I go out with someone?
-What are you doing tonight? I’m looking for a friend. »
“I’ll take you whenever you want.”
“I’ll put it on for you.” »
“ How much do you pay for it? (to a man walking down the corridor with a woman) »
“You’ll go under the desk but I’ll push through, don’t worry.” »
“If I do this for you, will you give me kisses?” »
“Don’t you want you and I to have a child?”
“You girls always get wet huh (showing the money)”
“Having to negotiate to stop talking about my breasts.”
“Talking about a girl: ‘she’s the worst, first she gives you the sweet eyes and then she fucks you’ »
“One hand on my butt, pretends to show things to touch my breasts.”
“Finally, if you talk about X, they are no longer apricots.”
“Say truck.”
“Stop sulking or I’ll spank your bare ass.” »
“X suggests you climb his mountains.”
“Two holding it, three…”
“There, I put you back in your place, finally, I get it. I reintroduced you, uh… I reintegrated you. I was wondering if we should drive home the point (after adding me to a WhatsApp group) »
“Do you get excited when I touch myself?” »
“-You’re sexy.
-If I were your wife and I heard you say something like that to someone else I would leave you right now.
-Don’t take it like that, you should be proud of it.
-Also, you don’t see anything of my body there.
-Yes, but I imagine. »
“It’s a shame you’re putting your coat back on.”
“If I were riding a motorcycle behind you, could I hold your breast?” »
“It looked like I was raping her in the hallway.”
“You have beautiful eyes and big breasts.”
“Are you coming to my hotel room tonight?” »
“Are you giving him treats?” »
“Do you like to eat pussy?” »
“Be submissive and silent.”
“If you want, I can replace the handbrake on your motorcycle.”
“Touch my breasts pretending to show me something (a maneuver used at least five times a year).
Myself : – Stop touching my breasts.
A more distant colleague: – it turns him on when he does that, lifts the table with his cock. »
“He systematically approaches me in the corridor to force us to touch each other.”
“Hands in your ass.”
“Slap your butt with a binder.” »
“Try sticking a post-it on my pubic bone.”
“Insisting on looking at the breasts, the girl passes, turns and leans over to look at the buttocks. »
“Coat of arms on the buttocks.”
“Ass pic.”
“Ball Licking.” »
“When you pole dance, you don’t need to hold yourself up with your hands.”
“It’s a shame we didn’t meet before I married my wife.”
“-Why are your hands sweaty?
-Because I had my hands on my dick. »
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Mary Crossley is an author at “The Fashion Vibes”. She is a seasoned journalist who is dedicated to delivering the latest news to her readers. With a keen sense of what’s important, Mary covers a wide range of topics, from politics to lifestyle and everything in between.
