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A friend told me about “after care” after sex, but what is it?

This week, in the Dear Charlotte column, our journalist responds to an Internet user who wonders about the aftercare practice.

A question ? Write to us at [email protected] with subject “Dear Charlotte”

“Dear Carlotta,

Last weekend I met a girl in the evening who told me about after care, which consists of taking care of your partner after sexual intercourse. For me, who very often tends to feel a little sad immediately afterwards, I’m interested in knowing more about it. Could you explain to me what it actually consists of and how to implement it in your relationships? Thank you so much for your help ! »

Dear stranger,

Thanks for your message! As you said very well, After care consists of taking care of your partner after making love. It is a concept that has its origins in BDSM practices, where the dominant person takes care of the submissive person after the act. But we can absolutely apply aftercare to any practice. The idea: share a moment of sweetness!

Strengthen your bond with others

The main advantage of this practice is that it strengthens the bond with others. In fact, even if the act itself is synonymous with intimacy and sharing, the aftercare allows it Strengthen the relationship on a more emotional level and create a real emotional connection. A moment dedicated to the well-being of both partners in which we establish a feeling of security. By integrating aftercare into your routine, in addition to doing yourself some good, you will deepen a bond of trust with your partner and this will create an enriching and fulfilling relationship on all levels. But what does aftercare mean in concrete terms?

A special moment

The key word in aftercare is, as always, communication. Because in relationships, whatever their nature, the first step to creating a bond is to talk. This can range from a debriefing of the moment you just experienced, to the expression of a need, a desire, a compliment… all while obviously ensuring that the other person’s needs are also taken into consideration.


With subsequent care, the atmosphere is one of relaxation. We can then decide to choose to share a moment together to relax (vs. roll over and start snoring).

Other activity ideas: pillow report, caress yourself, kiss yourself, meditate, take a shower, watch a movie, cuddle yourself, prepare a snack or a hot drink, massage yourself... or even abandon yourself to your thoughts if you feel like it. A non-exhaustive list to be appropriated as desired and to evolve depending on the relationships or over the course of the dates. Without ever forgetting the central idea of ​​everything: taking care of yourself and others. With all kindness.

Dear Charlotte, this is the bimonthly column that answers your problems to debunk the injunctions on sexuality and love life! Tell us your concerns or questions anonymously and our journalist will take care of answering them. Existential questions, practical questions, taboo topics... Here the watchword is not judgments or injunctions, just information and kindness! Write to us at, [email protected]with subject “Dear Charlotte”!


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Source: Madmoizelle

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