10 (almost) impossible things to do when we have children

For about nine months, babies grow in your uterus. And once they get out of there, they should move on with their lives for a while, without being stuck with you all the time. So yes, on paper, once the occupant has left the premises, you can breathe a little. But in reality there are many things that you can no longer do on your own since you have children, you will have to get used to it (or buy some locks).

10 things you really can’t do when you have kids

Here is the more or less exhaustive list of what is complicated, even impossible, to do when you are a mother with an heir less than 4 years old (approximately):

1. Go to the bathroom alone. Either because you can’t put the baby down otherwise he screams, or because he is a little older and is passionate about what you do.
2. Take a shower. Baby version, ok, we understand, we put it on the deckchair and immediately in the shower. But at two years old it is more painful, and yet: your little Marie-Cystitis loves watching how you soap yourself.
3. Eat something sweet and tasty without having to share it
4. Sit on the couch in the middle of the day to read a book that isn’t a baby album
5. Listen to something other than nursery rhymes on the slightest car ride
6. Go for a walk on a whim without taking up half the house “just in case”
7. Shop with peace of mind, without having to justify any of your waste on buying a fun toy/new book/candy/dog toy when you don’t have a dog
8. Nap outside of HIS nap
9. Stay calm, on the terrace, in the sun, have fun, without having to do anything/say/explain/dry/feed
10. Don’t think about anything anymore. It wasn’t easy before having children, but now it’s completely impossible, there’s always something to anticipate and think about.

And how are you?

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