Is it serious not to love other people’s children?

Who has never said to themselves, seeing the child of an acquaintance rolling on the floor or speaking badly to another human being, that he was an unbearable kid? Who hasn’t rolled their eyes and been exasperated by the frankly bizarre behavior of a 5-year-old mini-human who talks like the plague and once tormented us in high school?

These are things that happen. Yet there are children we like, who are nice and funny, but sometimes, when we see little Marie-Cécile speaking with crazy contempt for her age, or when little Louane slaps your childrenit can upset even the calmest people.

But what does this mean for us? That we is not structured correctly, why do we judge children who should be, supposedly, pure and innocent? That we are the worst people because we don’t like being with a guy who is visibly toxic to people who approach him? NO. We have the right to feel this waybut what we must above all try to understand are the reasons for their behavior, especially when the latter resembles too much an attitude that is not of their age, or that should not be tolerated, even in adulthood.

Children are sponges

Have you ever heard the phrase “ children are sponges, they feel everything » ? It’s true, children absorb a lot, even if it’s not always visible. Children, these little beings who are born with a naive, fresh and innocent vision of the life around them, will absorb, like sponges, everything that happens around them.

They will reproduce behaviors and attitudes, they may even feel the same aversion or love that their parents, or those who raise them, feel for people, objects, foods, colors. In short, they are small imitators. And sometimes we forget that. As Ben Mazué says well in his song When I Walk: “Guys, they say “do what I do”, not “do what I want” and much less “do what I say””.

When you are responsible for a child, you need to set a certain example, so that he has a basis to rely on when dealing with the outside world. If we are unable to show them, thanks to our attitude, the path we would like our children to follow, we should not be surprised at their behavior which may not be suitable for society. in which they live.

At the beginning of his life, the child is only what he knows

To give you a dramatic example that I have witnessed in my personal life: my daughter is in kindergarten, in the senior section. One of her classmates deliberately punched him in the nose during recess. It wasn’t an accident, it was a blow given in reaction to a minor event.

Her teacher called me to talk about it, because the gesture was violent, aggressive and incomprehensible, and my daughter was really shocked. But I learned that the little girl who hit mine only had these examples at home, since she had grown up in this climate of violence. Does this make his action any less serious? NO.

But I understood it better and it really changed me. This little girl is no different from mine, they are the same age, they attend the same class, they have the same friends, they love the same cartoons, but one grew up with beatings and a way of communicating his emotions that is very different from the other. And this changes everything. It is not this little girl who is to blame, but the entire environment in which she grew up.

Does the fruit never fall far from the tree?

This is a harsh example I’m telling you about, quite extreme. But when you are faced with a child who behaves in ways that bother youlike a child who speaks badly to an adult, with condescension, contempt or insolence, try to see where it might be coming from. The fruit never falls far from the tree and, except in rare cases, the child is simply the reflection of those who raise him.

To the question: can we hate other people’s children? We could say yes, because everyone is free to express their feelings and thoughts. Not loving other human beings does not make you a bad person, It’s okay not to please everyone. Yes, there are children with personalities that can be described as slightly annoying, annoying, noisy, rolling on the floor in supermarkets. There are children who have complicated emotions to manage, because It’s not easy to experience so many things when you don’t have full brain maturity yet. Well, there are also some kids who are a little stupid, just like adults, but what do you want, it takes everything to make a world.

Some parents do not realize the impact that their attitude and way of being can have on their children, who imitate them, even unconsciously.

But the next time you’re faced with a guy who’s behaving in a way that irritates, annoys, or worries you, also look at the top of the tree from which he fell. Often the explanation is not far away.

Listen to Apéro des Daronnes, Madmoizelle’s show that aims to break down taboos on parenting.