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Why is the “Girl’s Girl” phenomenon just as problematic as “Pick Me”?

Presented as the exact opposite of the “Pick Me”, the “Girl’s girl” would be the heroine of current feminism. But it seems that this poses a series of unexpected problems; especially in the cause that should advance. We will explain it to you.

We all know the “Pick Me Girl”. Sometimes simply pointed out, sometimes gently mocked, sometimes violently criticized on social networks, in recent times she hasn’t stopped speaking out and indignant feminists. Let’s remember: Pick Me is a woman who actively contributes to validating gender stereotypes about women, harmful to them, affirming their truth, perpetuating and denigrating them.

At the same time, it helps to promote the standards we attribute to men by adopting them – or at least getting as close as possible to them – with behaviors such as practicing extreme sports, not being obsessed with one’s external appearance, not wearing excessive make-up or even not dressing pale pastel colors and clichés. His goal? Be accepted by the opposite sexshamelessly tearing down her sisters to shine alongside them. Proud to be allies of their sisters, feminists therefore opposed the figure of their sisters “The Girl’s Girl”. But it seems like it could be just as problematic as the first… Definition and implications.

What is a “girl’s girl”?

On paper, a Girl’s girl has everything to advance the cause of women without ever harming it. Indeed, the Girl’s girlfriend is a woman willing to support and encourage other women, to respect the “girl code”, and to see her counterparts as allies rather than rivals. Unlike the Pick Me girl, she doesn’t need to put others down to show off.

“It’s mostly about the encouragement, validation and general support that girls and women can give each other,” explains a neuroscience coach who specializes in hypersensitive profiles.

But behind this idealistic, generalist and rather vague definition hide numerous deviations, and sometimes they are harmful to feminism…

A reason to harass those who don’t “fit in”

The first drift of the Girl’s Girl is to criticize and punish those who are not. : In fact, some often use philosophy to judge women who step out of line and don’t respect the feminine girl code. In this sense, female celebrities are the first to suffer this wave of hatred when they adopt behaviors apparently contrary to those of a “ally worthy of the name”. Ariana Grande also pays the consequences: due to the love triangles in which she is involved, she is often labeled as a “homewrecker” by some people, who declare themselves guarantors of The Girl’s feminine mentality.


His latest romantic relationship and all the buzz it has generated can confirm this! Quick reminder of the context: she’s now in a relationship with actor Ethan Slater, and she apparently started dating him when he was still married… Obviously, this didn’t fail to spark the ire of some outraged girls. Because, of course, “out of female solidarity, a true Girl’s girl would never have made trouble with a married man. » Is it worth pointing out that the actor, who was committed to him and owed loyalty to his wife, was not criticized so violently?

The main problem raised by the feminine mindset of the Girl is that some zealous people do it rigorous interpretation and implementation, which leaves no more room for error for women… Instead of supporting, liberating, emancipating the fairer sex, Girl’s Girl philosophy can therefore turn into real tool to control one’s behavior :

“All these women (extreme Girls’ Girls) are doing is nothing more than imprisoning other women in rigid and violent binary gender norms that dictate that they are, and must always be, morally good, polite, accommodating and pleasant. If they deviate from this standard, they are punished.”

Dazed magazine

Implicit pressure to support a woman even if you don’t agree with her

Finally, another problem caused by the feminine mentality of the Girl is that, Fearful of being “bad allies,” some girls and young women may feel pressure to support other women no matter what. Therefore, even if they do not agree and/or align with the behavior, words and/or values ​​advocated by a colleague, they may feel pressured to encourage it anyway, in order to not to fail in their duty as a Girl. Those affected are especially girls and adolescents, who are very sensitive to the opinions of others and are still in the process of building their own identity.

This pressure can also derive from the desire to be accepted by their peers: in fact, as previously mentioned, many are criticized when they adopt behaviors that make them “bad allies” in the eyes of girls… So why inflict this “ostracism”. ” about yourself when you can avoid it?

A rigorous and unique representation of the “good feminist”

Are women discriminated against if they deviate even slightly from the values ​​defended by Girl’s Girl? Sisters labeled bad allies of feminism if they don’t behave appropriately? This gives you an idea of ​​another problem caused by the feminine mentality of the Girl… If we push the interpretation further, there would be somewhere, good feminisms and bad feminisms in the spirit of the girl’s zealous girls. A problematic hierarchy of feminism that divides activists more than it unites them…


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Source: Madmoizelle

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