In March 2020 (the day after Women’s Rights Day), I put my ovaries on the table. It took 30 years.
The click came a week in early February. On Monday, I caught a coworker taking a photo of my butt. On Tuesday, another colleague smacked me on the butt with a badge. On Wednesday I received an inappropriate comment.
After a year and a half on my mission, I had reached my limit. I was depressed and about to leave the company. I arrived at work with a knot in my stomach. I had already left a previous company for the same reasons and seeing the scenario repeat itself made me angry, especially because this time the mission was extremely interesting.
Luckily, I’ve since gotten into the habit of, when I have this uncomfortable feeling, taking notes on what’s bothering me. These were the deviant phrases, but it can also happen when I’m around a person I perceive as toxic. This allows me, once I have accumulated the notes, not to question myself, or a hypothetical paranoia, and to try to act to stop the person/situation with supporting facts.
I went to visit the other women in the open space (well, out of 70 men we are 15, of which 20 have problems) and the vast majority told me: “Yes, there is a real problem”. And I saw that my suffering was shared and yet none of us had burst the abscess before. Many had downplayed the scope of the situation or had forgotten the sentences. When I read to them everything I had written in six months, they relived certain situations and they realized that in reality almost everyone had regularly suffered such violence.
I later worked in my company’s IT department, a vital, self-contained department that prided itself on following its own laws compared to the rest of the company. My company’s previous management had let this happen for years, even encouraging, quote, “the spirit of the Gallic village”. The deviant phrases were everywhere, at all times, it was part of the “normality” of the box.
With the previous management I would have had to carry out my action without notifying anyone. I had the impression that, in any case, I would have to leave my mission, both because nothing would change and because everyone would turn their backs on me after my denunciation. Finally I went to see the new management, I told them: “I have a plan, let me explain it, I need it”. My director, amazed, replied: “ Ok, you do it and I’ll do it right after… I’ll knock them out.”
According to article 222-33 of the Criminal Code, sexual harassment is “repeatedly imposing sexual or sexist comments or behaviors on a person that undermine their dignity due to their degrading or humiliating nature, or create an intimidating, hostile or offensive climate. »
“The act, even if not repeated, of resorting to any form of serious pressure with the real or apparent purpose of obtaining an act of a sexual nature, whether sought for the benefit of the perpetrator of the harassment, is considered sexual. harassment committed or to the benefit of third parties. […] »
As the Ministry of Labor website reminds us, when will it take place “In the context of work relationships, sexual harassment can take various forms: blackmail for hiring or promotion, threats of retaliation in case of refusal to give in to sexual advances, etc. The perpetrator of the harassment can be the employer, but also a colleague of the victim, an employment consultant, a client of the company, etc..”
When the perpetrator has had physical contact with the victim, it is sexual assault, which is a crime punishable more severely than sexual harassment.
Make attackers and harassers face their actions
So one morning, I took out many inappropriate phrases and gestures that I had noticed over the past year, printed each one on an A4 sheet, in blood red, and covered the walls of the open room with them. It talked about pussy, ass, breasts, rape, it was downright vulgar and oppressive.
It had its little effect. At the start, the bullies laughed at their sentences, then seeing that there were many, he began to get angry and keep quiet. Hurray!
Everyone only talked about this, those who didn’t care about it were scandalized, the idiots minimized the facts, but everyone discussed.
What followed was a meeting that the entire set had to attend. There the management took over. The director talked about the girls she went with and also the boys who didn’t understand why such a sexist atmosphere was allowed. She talked about psychological suffering.
Then he spoke criminal offense, because this is precisely the category we find ourselves in. According to the penal code:
“The reported facts are punishable by two years in prison and a 30,000 euro fine.
These penalties are increased to three years of imprisonment and a 45,000 euro fine when the facts are committed by more than one person acting as perpetrators or accomplices or when they are committed by a superior. »
Penal Code
As for touching, we move on to sexual violence, and there it is five years’ imprisonment and a fine of 75,000 euros.
There the director spoke up and announced that at the first inappropriate sentence that came to his attention, he would immediately fire the person. Well, clearly, it ruined the atmosphere in the room. The reactions were mostly positive. Others were more awkward than anything else: I’ve heard many similar categorizations of harassment “A hand on the butt is not normal, but a ‘Do you want to go out with me?’ is cute “. Others were distressing, one loser even told me that he had no intention of stopping there.
I told him that at the slightest inappropriate remark on his part I would report him to the management and that I would have no qualms. He sulked and never did again.
This year, I have spoken and I hope to leave behind today the burdens that I have carried for years : the companies I left because I couldn’t stand it anymore, all the times I gritted my teeth without saying anything, all the times I felt so alone and ignored.
I’ve never felt regrets, unless you have written the names of the authors of the sentences on the posters. For all the girls with me and for all the girls after me, I finally had to fight back.
For four years I have never heard any inappropriate comments about this set 😉 Many of these idiots quickly abandoned the project. I didn’t experience the rejection phenomenon I feared. So clearly only positive aspects.
If you are a victim of sexual harassment at work, you can file a complaint against the alleged perpetrator(s) with the criminal justice system.
The complaint must be filed within six years of the last event (a gesture, a comment…) of harassment.
Justice will take into account all the elements constituting harassment even if the facts occurred over several years. If your complaint is rejected and you wish to continue the procedure, it is possible to lodge a complaint with the establishment of a civil party.
You can also notify your employer via your CSE. The employer must take all necessary measures to prevent acts that constitute sexual harassment.. If he has not fulfilled his legal prevention obligations, you can take him to court (the labor court in the private sector, the administrative court in the public sector) to obtain compensation.
As a victim, you are not obliged to inform your employer of the filing of a complaint against the alleged perpetrator of the harassment and you cannot be sanctioned for reporting these facts.
It is also possible to contact the Rights Defender. This applies to both the offender and the employer.
Source: Service-public.fr
Anthology of phrases and situations experienced by Mathilde and her colleagues
Self Don’t worry about feeling nauseoushere is the detail of what was posted that morning (in raw form and without context, sorry).
“A colleague has a girlfriend who wears a skirt: what is this dress?
(turns to a director) – Do we have the right to harass?
Manager : – Here we have the right, it is an area of freedom, here we are united. »
“You have friends in another club pole (penetration signs), you can call them to negotiate! »
“After a girl jokes, she pretends to spank. »
“I have a question to ask.
– What if I go out with someone?
-What are you doing tonight ? I’m looking for a friend. »
“I’ll take you whenever you want. »
“I’ll put it on for you.” »
“ How much do you pay for it? (to a man walking down the aisle with a woman). »
“You’ll go under the desk but I’ll push myself, don’t worry.” »
“If I do this for you, will you give me kisses?” »
“Don’t you want me and you to have a child? »
“You girls always get wet eh (showing the money)”
“Having to negotiate to stop talking about my breasts. »
“Talking about a girl: ‘she is the worst, first she makes sweet eyes at you and then she fucks you’ »
“One hand on my butt, pretending to show things to touch my breast. »
“Finally, if you talk about X, they are no longer apricots. »
“Say truck. »
“Stop sulking or I’ll spank your bare ass.” »
“X suggests you climb his mountains. »
“Two who hold it, three who…”
“There, I’ve put you back, finally, I understand. I reintroduced you, uh… I reintroduced you. I was wondering if we should drive the point home (after adding me to a WhatsApp group) »
“Do you get excited when I touch myself?” »
“-You’re sexy.
-If I were your wife and I heard you say something like that to someone else I would leave you immediately.
-Don’t take it that way, you should be proud of it.
-Also, you don’t see anything of my body there.
-Yes, but I imagine. »
“It’s a shame you’re putting your coat back on. »
“If I were riding behind you, could I hold your breast?” »
“It looked like I was raping her in the hallway. »
“You have beautiful eyes and big breasts. »
“Are you coming to my hotel room tonight?” »
“Are you giving him treats?” »
“Do you like eating pussy?” »
“Be submissive and silent. »
“If you want, I can replace the handbrake on your motorbike. »
“Touch my breast while pretending to show me something (maneuver used at least five times a year).
Myself : – Stop touching my breasts.
A colleague also: – turns him on when he does that, lifts the table with his cock. »
“He systematically approaches me in the corridor to force us to touch each other. »
“Hand on your ass. »
“Slap your butt with a binder.” »
“Try sticking a post-it on my crotch. »
“Insisting with her gaze on her breasts, the girl passes, turns and leans over to look at her buttocks. »
“Coat of arms on the buttocks. »
“Ass pic. »
“Ball licking.” »
“When you pole dance, you don’t need to hold yourself with your hands. »
“Too bad we didn’t meet before I married my wife. »
“-Why are your hands sweaty?
-Because I had my hands on my dick. »
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Mary Crossley is an author at “The Fashion Vibes”. She is a seasoned journalist who is dedicated to delivering the latest news to her readers. With a keen sense of what’s important, Mary covers a wide range of topics, from politics to lifestyle and everything in between.
