“ You are no longer alone, we believe you “. In the large hall of the Palais des femmes, in Paris, seven screens broadcast this message of support. Sober but salvific, for the hundred listeners who will participate, on Thursday 21 September, in what could be the last public meeting of the Independent Commission on Incest.
“ I was worried we wouldn’t all fit in, but that’s okay! » jokes the co-president of CIIVISE, Edouard Durand. The date of this meeting is not trivial. Two years earlier, to the exact day, CIIVISE had opened its call for testimonies. Since then, nearly 27,000 people have come forward to reveal incest or sexual violence they suffered as children.
“ CIIVISE responds to a vital need. Society must listen to these words that it pretended not to hear and which you nevertheless have the generosity of giving them. », continues the magistrate, who dedicates this session to Serge Garde, sitting in the front row, director of theOutreau, the other truth. A sadly confidential documentary, which nevertheless “has marked the history of the fight against sexual violence against children”.
Why should this public meeting be the last? Because, unless the government says otherwise, CIIVISE will disappear at the end of December, after a final report. But not everything has been decided: on November 20 the commission, which is asking to be renewed, will have to decide on its fate.
“Protective parents must benefit from the presumption of innocence”
This evening there is no question of returning to the report published that same morning by CIIVISE. In contrast, this public meeting, which is the “26 or 27And » of this type, according to the co-president Nathalie Mathieu, wants to continue to open a space for exchange and listening for the victims. In turns, people of all ages, backgrounds and backgrounds take turns at the microphone, telling their story, expressing their anger, sharing their desperation or their journey to recovery.
The first to speak is a mother who, after reporting her son’s acts of incest, saw justice turn against her. She, who was already suffering domestic violence, would receive the only answer from a judge: “A violent man can be a good father”. He says he then lost custody of his son. His story is also that of many mothers present this evening.
Sophie Abida is one of them. His 2-year-old daughter Iris had been taken away from him just 48 hours earlier. His elders had already been entrusted to his father, whom all three accuse. She in turn speaks: “ There is no parental conflict, there is only violence! The silence is already broken, but the children are not listened to. We are crushed by the institutions. If the accused benefits from the presumption of innocence, the protective parents must benefit too! “.
“ Tearing a child away from his security is like denying it to him » replies Edouard Durand, recalling, with his colleagues, that mothers in struggle must be better protected. “ You remain the fixed point that prevents your children from sinking, don’t forget that. Because they will never forget it “.
Shortly after, a young woman took the floor and thanked these protective mothers: “ If my mother had protected me, things would have been very different. As soon as your children are able, they will return. You can be sure of it “.
“It wasn’t child’s play”
Children express themselves, adults too. Why then are they not listened to? This question comes back again and again, in all its unlikely and revolting aspects. This evening many wrote texts, which they read in front of a moved and attentive audience. Others tell of how they were able to speak in ways other than words: “ I’m better at drawing silence and violence than I am at writing it » admits Annie, 60, who says she is very angry at the doctors’ incompetence. “ I’m just starting to get back into my body. I was completely dissociated, yet the psychiatrists didn’t believe me “.
Some will recount the family rejection caused by their words: “ The forbidden thing is not incest, but talking about it » agrees Annie. Océane, 22 years old, adds:
“When I spoke up, I was told, ‘I believe you, but you’re wrong. You confuse it with children’s games. My cousin, who is 5 years older than me, raped me. It wasn’t child’s play. We were both minors and that’s a blind spot in the law of 2021. But it wasn’t child’s play, it was incest.
Ocean, 22 years old
A few moments earlier, a 52-year-old woman had also called CIIVISE members together on this topic: “ I was disappointed to see that there was no mention of incest between minors. It is necessary to talk about it. This is what I experienced and since then I have had spasms in my body every day “. Why is sexual violence among minors not taken seriously?, this woman asks.
Oceane adds:
Today it’s an economic hassle to follow therapy, it’s a hassle in the body, it’s a hassle in the head, it’s a legal hassle… I filed a complaint in 2018, I was welcomed by the police, then nothing. Last week I received a call. My case will finally be investigated. I cried with relief. But I actually don’t know if I should be happy. Five years to be recalled is too long. And then the prescription, let’s talk about it. Who invented something like that?! »
Ocean, 22 years old
Thunderous applause. The cry from her heart is unanimous.
“We are a village”
It’s nice to feel supported and listened to, as is repeated by those who share their story in the assembly. Because in all these testimonies the question of loneliness is the one that emerges the most. Loneliness of rejection, loneliness of discomfort, forced or chosen loneliness…” We isolate, we scare, we ensure the impunity of the attackers. This society must not look away from the closed doors of the courtroom! » asserts a mother without children.
Arthur, in his early thirties, also talks about the violence he suffered in the scout camp when he was a young teenager. He has attended public meetings of CIIVISE several times, but so far he has never had the strength to speak: ” I feel so alone. As soon as I smoke a cigarette out the window, I think about jumping. As soon as I wait for the subway I ask myself: what would happen if I fell under the trains? “. A young woman, overwhelmed by her testimony, takes the microphone: “ I didn’t want to testify tonight. But hearing you shakes me from every side. I want to tell you that you are brave, because it takes a village to prevent a suicide “.
For Judge Durand, this is precisely where the strength of CIIVISE lies. “ CIIVISE is you. We are a village. »
Source: Madmoizelle
Mary Crossley is an author at “The Fashion Vibes”. She is a seasoned journalist who is dedicated to delivering the latest news to her readers. With a keen sense of what’s important, Mary covers a wide range of topics, from politics to lifestyle and everything in between.
