“I didn’t like the pregnancy, but I’m ready to give birth a thousand times in these conditions”: Aude tells us about her birth

My wife and I talked about the baby project in 2017, right after our wedding, and we started the process in November 2018.

I found out I was pregnant just before Christmas 2018. I was very happy, but I had a lot of restraint in my emotions, I said to myself “just in case”. My girlfriend burst into tears of happiness. It was sudden, fast and unexpected.

A peaceful pregnancy

I am one of the women who I didn’t like being pregnant. I was sick for the first six months: nausea, vomiting four to six times a day, this feeling of the day after a permanent party… I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t stand the smell of my own laundry anymore, I was putting off the moment I had to go home. Every bite was hell… Other than that, I had none no medical complications.

I had no plans to give birth, I didn’t read books on pregnancy… I didn’t want to be polluted by other people’s anxieties. I tried to fully experience my pregnancy trying to protect myself from all the complicated stories. I was “afraid” to give birth because it was the unknown, but without particular fears because I was well accompanied. You must know that at the time of giving birth I didn’t even know how to “push” because my last childbirth preparation course was scheduled for the following week! I let my midwife and midwife guide me.

I had the opportunity to give birth with the midwife who followed my entire pregnancy, my midwife was also present. It is a private clinic on a human scale, with a team that I knew and trusted completely. I was calm…

An express birth

On the night of August 18-19, around 3 in the morning, I felt pain equivalent to menstruation. I told myself it was impossible, because I was pregnant. I got up to go to the bathroom and the water bag suddenly broke. I thought it only happened in movies! My midwife had told me there was no point in “running” to the maternity ward, that it would take some time. So I took a shower, finished my maternity bag (I thought I had a few weeks to finish it) and off we went to the maternity ward, where we arrived at 5:45am.

At around 6:30, I was placed in the delivery room. I had planned books, games, etc., because I had been told that the delivery would not take place before 5 pm, because for a first child one hour had to be counted per centimeter of dilation.

I was 2 cm away when I arrived… But everything happened very quickly. The contractions are even closer and are getting stronger, there was almost no time without them, they were linked together with dizzying speed. The anesthetist was rushed in to perform the epidural before it was too late to do it..

Once the epidural was placed, I felt great relief, just a sensation but nothing painful… It was 8:30am. Then I waited, my gynecologist and midwife came to see me, everything is fine, we’re kidding … Then at 10 o’clock, I feel a very, very unpleasant sensation, enormous pressure, like a cannonball trying to get out of my body, but through the wrong hole.

My midwife then told me: “Oh yes, it’s completely normal, it means that the birth is starting”. I’m happy, excited, but I’m also afraid of meeting this child, afraid of not loving him, not identifying with him…

I push 5 times, feel her head go, again and there she is out, feeling good and serene. It was an amazing, strange, but exciting feeling.. The baby’s head was poorly hooked (a bit tilted), they had to use the suction cup, but otherwise everything went as smoothly as possible. Our daughter was born at 10:50.

My first reaction when I saw my daughter was: “Oh my god, she’s brunette and not very pretty”. I didn’t identify with her.

An hour after delivery, no pain or discomfort

It was my wife who immediately went skin to skin. During this time I delivered the placenta and the gynecologist stitched me up. I had a tear, but felt absolutely nothing.

I had full confidence in my midwife and midwife, they were a great support, an unfailing, benevolent accompaniment… I couldn’t ask for more. Each step was explained to me, before each act my gynecologist asked me for an opinion, if I was okay.

Thanks to the staff and my wife, I felt like I was in a cocoon. I’m convinced that if I loved giving birth, it’s thanks to them. As much as I didn’t like the pregnancy, but for the delivery, I’m ready to start over a thousand times in these conditions.

I returned to my room an hour later. I was doing very well, no pain, little discomfort. I couldn’t wait to take a shower. All the staff were amazed that I was already standing, clothed and cross-legged on my bed as if I had been in labor for several days. My parents arrived early afternoon to discover my daughter. I was fine and happy.

“I recommend my gynecologist to all my friends, he was so perfect”

After four days in the maternity ward, I couldn’t wait to go home, I dreamed of starting our new life. The distribution of homework was done very naturally, our daughter was not at all difficult, she had more than adequate nights for a newborn (midnight-5:30am).

I think that the fact of having experienced a perfect and ideal birth has a huge influence on the continuation. Sure, I had a drop in hormones, I didn’t particularly like being on maternity leave, I found time long and was in a hurry to find a professional activity… But I have excellent memories of my birth. Today I recommend my gynecologist to all my girlfriends, he was so perfect!

I simply had trouble capturing this new body of a young mother. I gained a lot of weight during my pregnancy (+26 kg). I’ve always been thin, even very thin, therefore this was really the hardest thing for me, learning to love myself again in this new body and in this new role.

After giving birth, I never gave up my life as a woman. We continued to go out, to see our friends, to travel… I think it was necessary not to close ourselves in this exclusive role of mother.

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