“I felt like my pelvis was about to explode”: Manon recounts her birth

• First name : But it is not
• Age at delivery : 30 years
• Expected child : November 21, 2021
• The baby has arrived : November 14, 2021
• Arrival time at the hospital : 8:00 pm on November 13, 2021
• Delivery time : 11:46 pm on November 14, 2021
• Baby’s height and weight at birth : 3.905kg / 53cm

I am 31 years old, my partner is 50 years old. Our baby, Emile, is 17 months old.. I have no other children, but my partner has 4 daughters from his previous marriage, who are 22, 20, 18 and 9 years old. Our baby boy was born a week before his due date on November 14, 2021.

An expected pregnancy that arrived quickly

with my partner, we had been talking about having kids since the beginning of our relationship. After two and a half years together, it has become more concrete, given the age of my partner (49 years since I got pregnant). We stopped contraception on 1^um January 2021 and in mid February I was lucky enough to be pregnant !

I knew very quickly that I was pregnant by taking a pregnancy test. We were super happy, because unlike many people, it was so easy to get pregnant, how lucky!

I had a wonderful pregnancy, nothing special to complain about, a little nauseous the first three months. I had a huge belly at the end of my pregnancy which was uncomfortable and even uncomfortable. But other than that everything was perfect. An acquaintance told me about her home birth, which made me want to know more.

A birth plan at home and in a natural way

I had prepared very well for the birth. I had read many articles, testimonials and books on the subject. I had watched news and listened to podcasts. I also surrounded myself with resourceful people. Along my journey, I was sure I wanted the most natural birth possible.because I understood that we women are made to give birth.

In most cases, it is possible to give birth naturally, without the aid of medicines. So I was obviously a little apprehensive, especially since I had planned to do itgive birth at home, which is sometimes more risky for a first birth. But I trusted myself and nature, and my baby who knows what he had to do too. I still had written a birth plan just in case I couldn’t give birth at home: and I did well!

I prepared myself for childbirth with, on the one hand, my gynecologist, who was not at all for home births, but who agreed to follow me to the end, after specifying that his medical opinion had to prevail over the opinion of my midwife, which I accepted. And on the other a midwife from my region and a colleague of hers, who specialize in home deliveries (which is rare!).

An acquaintance, a professional musician, gave among other things prenatal singing lessons. Being a musician myself, this approach spoke to me and helped me a lot to concretely prepare for my birth (especially to manage the pain of contractions), surrounded by mothers who have the same project as me. I still sing some lullabies I learned there to my baby today.

” It was a big disappointment and I was worried my delivery was going to go wrong »

I lost my mucus plug several days before giving birth and only had contractions once during that time. One morning, February 13, I noticed wet marks on the chair where I was sitting: the water pocket was punctured and the water flowed very very smoothly. Labor had to start within 12 hours for a home birth to occur.. Otherwise it was mandatory to go to the hospital to receive the antibiotics due to the germs that could enter from the pierced pocket.

I went to my midwife who told me we would wait until evening to see if labor started. But nothing happened… I was in tears! I had imagined my birth at home a lot, the inflatable pool had been prepared, I had made a music playlist (which I luckily took to the hospital), prepared candles, etc. It was a big disappointment and I was worried my delivery was going to go wrong. Overmedicalization, such as I could sometimes read and hear, frightened me.

I had the chance to be received in a clinic quite focused on natural childbirth and above all who had been informed of my desire to give birth at home, and who had carefully read my birth plan. My partner and I stayed there one night and one full day, in a room just for us that had been granted to us.

We each had a bed and we could take advantage of the birthing tub to relax, it was amazing! The medical staff was patient, like me, the work was not forced, I was just on antibiotics and monitored. It wasn’t until 5pm on November 14 that the contractions began.

I heard for the first time a strange feeling of calm, I was swinging on the ball while listening to my playlist. My partner had gone to get me the things I liked to eat then, little by little… the cramps started. First of all, I had diarrhea for several hours, I was glued to the toilet, I believe it lasted until 10pm. The nursing staff came very little during this period, they let me manage how I felt. I am very grateful to them.

By 10pm the pain was too severe, in the lower abdomen and lower back. I was curled up on the floor, trying to find positions to free myself. Then a midwife came to see how the work was going, I asked her if I could still get the epidural (although I clearly specified in my project that I didn’t want it… but pain makes you hesitate), he told me it was definitely too late. I had to lie down on my back (the pain is unbearable in this position, honestly!) to get examined: I was already 5cm dilated!

Prenatal singing to manage the pain of contractions

She said : “Congratulations ma’am, you’ve already done half! You will continue in the bathtub…”. Once in the bath, I started doing the guttural sounds learned during my pregnancy to better manage the contractions that followed each other very quickly. I only had a few seconds of respite between each. When the pain has become too much, I begged my partner to make these sounds with me, as we had learned (because until then he had not dared). He came with me into the tub, squeezed my hands tightly and prolonged the sounds I was making.

One or two midwives were near us, I made them laugh, because between one contraction and another I said: “But why did I choose to give birth like this??? I will not do that anymore! ». I laughed at myself in those moments, before the next contraction. I felt like my pelvis was about to explodeI didn’t see how a baby could have come out of my groin which, seen from above, seemed very narrow to me!

Push, expulsion and first encounter

I couldn’t give birth in the pool, I had to lie down for expulsion, but by then I was wide open so the pain was less. At that moment a gynecologist came, whom I didn’t know, but who was very good. She and the midwives explained well what to do, when to push and this helped me. I had a slight natural tear. They made me touch the head of my baby who was about to be born, it was magical. They put it right on my belly, she screamed then climbed onto my breast to nurse, calmly. A little later I had to push again for the afterbirth.

I remember saying “Hello Émile, you are here, how beautiful you are. We were waiting for you…”. I think we shed a few tears and after a while my partner was able to hug him.

Emile stayed on us skin to skin for a long time, both on me and on my partner. It was a magical feeling to feel this little being against me.

A quick return home

Then we hurried home, we didn’t want to stay in the hospital. We were in a shared room and felt right at home. There were no complications breastfeeding went well, but it wasn’t easy, despite everything. My partner was doing everything he could, but he had to work again very quickly, being independent. We were mostly exhausted! We hardly slept at the end of the pregnancy (I was always moving in the bed) and the pre-labour had been very long, we could not sleep in the hospital either before or after the birth. We were too excited, but we were really at the end and the first three months of Émile’s life were difficult (he cried a lot, woke up a lot at night…).

I thought my natural birth would make my baby “calmer” after birth, But this is not the case. It took Émile three months to accept his new life with us, to accept this new world he had fallen into. I wasn’t depressed at allI was super happy with my birth and having my baby, but I was really exhausted.

Babywearing, co-sleeping, skin to skin… Difficult and exhausting beginnings

I did my best to reassure Emile as much as possible: babywearing, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, skin-to-skin, but it was exhausting. Finally, after three months, almost overnight, my baby became a charm and still is! I think he gave us qualifying tests for the first three months, but, phew: we passed!

Overall, I have good memories of my birth. I think that if I had to do it again, I would like to give birth in a specialized facility and not at home, as was my initial wish, because it reassured me to know that we would be in the hospital if anything happened. So I would give birth, for example, in a birth bubble or something similar. Sure, I’ll have a natural birth again.

From this experience, I would tell pregnant women think about their birth, don’t believe that someone will do everything for them (doctors, painkillers, midwives, etc.) but to become an actress of their childbirth.

It is a unique event in which the two main actors are you and your child, with your partner playing a secondary role, of course. So many women are disappointed in their birth, I find it a shame then. Prepare yourself, educate yourself, be ready, you are capable of it!