Is my child a little idiot?

Article originally published in August 2020

Yes, I know, it’s bad to have this kind of dilemma, but at the same time, when you watch the flesh of your flesh scream and lay on the filthy floor of a superstore because you refused to buy a mini drum kit with “guaranteed sound effects”, or that you see him trying to stick all the markers into his right nostril, you have something to ask yourself.

Did you give birth to the devil’s child yourself? Have you ruined his education somewhere? Or, he wouldn’t just very stupid?

We’ll try to untangle all of this by doing little scenarios you might find yourself in. It will help you decide once and for all.

His goal in life: to shame you

Decency is a completely foreign concept to it, and it loves to ask you the worst questions at the worst times, in front of the worst people.

Which parent didn’t want to disappear into the depths of the earth why his son asked screamingcompletely audible, in the crowded bakery row, who “had just farted? »

Who hasn’t felt a good shame when hearing his son, in the bus filled to bursting, innocently ask “why did the gentleman sitting next to him smell like dog poop?” »

Who hasn’t wanted to jump off a moving train because their child had spent all of Paris-Nice screaming because he was tired of being “on a moving train” when he preferred “a moving train”? (When we tell you having children is an ecological aberration…)

May parents who have never had to face the intergalactic shame of their life by having the audacity to give birth to a being without a filter raise their hands and spin their AdviceI’m curious.

For others, those who are regularly penetrated by the gloomy looks of passers-by on the street or other shop customers: you are not alone.

Your son is not an idiot, he still lacks some notions of correctness and courtesy that you will be happy to explain to him every time you find yourself faced with these situations, all under the accusing and moralizing eyes of those who judge you, having probably forgotten that they too had been children or worse, that they had, even though it was 67 years ago. We see you boomers.

He talks bad to you

Jean-Cyprien doesn’t have his tongue in his pocket, the whole country knows it well, since he seems unable to keep his upper and lower lips together.

Well, embarrassing yourself in front of other adults by asking shameful questions is fine. But when he uses that last “insolence” card, you question all, but then ALL the manners you’ve instilled in him since he let out his first yell.

For example, when you answer his question “can I put this piece of cheese in the cat’s anus” in the negative (all more or less clearly formulated according to his age and abilities), and he turns into a fearful Regan lookalike MacNeil in The Exorcist (minus the green vomit) why did you dare to say it wasn’t the best idea, you honestly wonder what you missed, what went wrong, when and why.

That’s what parents are, it’s flagellant. While in truth, perhaps his behavior has nothing to do with his upbringing, perhaps it is only that Pierre-Mireille is simply an idiot.

But in truth, the simplest, most logical and benevolent explanation is that your precious little angel, who has the ability to change skin color in less than 10 seconds (including purple), has a lot of trouble dealing with frustration and speech” no”.

Why ? It all depends on her age. From two years old (or three, if you’re lucky enough to have a little extra), the child needs to oppose to become autonomous.

It sucks for the parents, but for him it’s very important, for his construction, because he finally understands that he is a whole person, and no longer just an extension of whoever raises him.

So yeah, it’s tiring. You get the impression that he does everything to make life difficult for everyone, that he questions everything you say, that he never agrees and wastes a lot of time in moments when you miss someone, but that’s normal. He’s not stupid, he knows he exists. Crazy, right?

He is obnoxious with other children

Sometimes you get the impression that what you have brought into the world is completely socially unsuitable.

With adults he behaves like a lout and with other children he is even worse. Would Marie-Loana really be a perfect little pest? The question arises when you see her pulling and eating (yes) the hair of her fellow men. All while having fun, the cheater.

What to do in these situations? Do you have to use the maternity return voucher? and ask, in return, a child who loves his neighbor and doesn’t want to destroy everything he touches? Must you hide in the sand and not see that what you have brought into the world is a danger to the world around it? The temptation is great, it’s true.

Because it’s one thing that your little Kimberly isn’t the coolest person to other kids, but that’s not all.

Plus, frankly she isn’t either the chosen one of the hearts of the adults he meetseither because they are the parents of one of the girls tortured by yours and they strongly refrain from reporting her to the GIGN, or because they find themselves face to face with a mini-human being who seems to hate everything they are , when they think they are good people.

No one likes rejection, and no one likes being rejected by a child that everyone ought to like since he’s just entered the game of life and social relationships.

So yes ok, but what do we do when we have given birth to a child who is a bit violent and who doesn’t seem to like many people?

For violence it seems that it is necessary to repeat, repeat and repeat again that it is not a thing to do. If you feel overwhelmed and takes on proportions that seem dangerous to your child or others, you can also consult a professional who can give you some Advice and help him to understand where this anger comes from.

For the “my son doesn’t seem to like his neighbor” part, try analyzing the context a bit. Who are the people he doesn’t like? Isn’t there a good reason for this?

Isn’t Sophie-Karen really very shy that she is afraid of strangers? Isn’t there a little job you can do to help her not be so scared of other people? Fear leads to violence, Isn’t there something to dig over there?

Again, if you’re feeling overwhelmed or don’t have the weapons or words to help you, there are professionals at this, people who know the subject, who can help you dig deeper. origins of his behavior.

If it is, it’s just right

Does your child refuse to share his toys with his peers? Do you think the world revolves only around him? Does he not like strangers? Does he like to defend his territory? Don’t panic, that doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s a fan of François Fillon or that he wants to clean cities with Kärcher. It’s not all over yet, don’t worry.

You still have time to teach your child how the world goes: his age is still counted in months and he doesn’t even have an electoral card yet.

If, on the other hand, he makes fun of the weakest, if he thinks that going to La Baule is the best idea for a holiday, if he already has a Rolex and systematically asks his friends what their parents do, you can worry.

Well, a little seriousness to finish: it is legitimate to worry about your child’s development, so if you still have the impression that he has “a problem somewhere”, do not hesitate to consult him: at best he will reassure you, at the “worst” it will allow you to move forward consciously.

And then, if your child is a little’ with, it does not matter. There are some cute ones, some stupid ones. Also very cute. It could be worse : could be a royalist.

Photo credit image of one: Anna Shvets / Pexels