Emotional vampires can hide behind the most familiar faces, according to mental health specialists cited by French outlets Le Journal des Femmes, the Huffington Post UK and ELLE magazine. Whether called emotional, psychic or psychological vampires, these people share one trait: they drain the mental and emotional energy of those around them.
Psychotherapist Virginie Bapt told Le Journal des Femmes that the profile can take many forms, from a grieving friend who suddenly cannot live without you, to an elderly, dependent parent, an office colleague, or a partner who constantly needs advice.
No fixed tactic
Clinical psychologist Ryan Howes told the Huffington Post UK that energy vampires take many shapes, from someone who asks far too many prying questions to someone who always seems to be having a terrible day, or someone who tells long, rambling stories with no point.
Psychiatrist Stephane Clerget, author of the book Les Vampires Psychiques, told ELLE that these people do not follow a set method. He said they like to cast themselves as victims of others, of circumstances or of life itself, to draw out empathy and attachment, which lets them feed without limit on other people's emotions, abilities, work and practical support.
A striking lack of empathy
Howes said there is no official diagnosis or therapeutic approach for the phenomenon, but that everyone recognizes it personally and professionally. Bapt said these are people who cannot meet their own needs, emotions or energy, so they lean on others without meaning any harm, wanting through their behavior to feel better rather than to hurt anyone.
Bapt said the clearest sign is a total absence of empathy and an inability to grasp that others have their own needs too. She said energy vampires never express gratitude, unlike a balanced relationship where the person being helped shows recognition, because they always feel they are losing something when they give.
Trust your gut feeling
People who are helpful and empathetic by nature are more likely to encounter an energy vampire, Bapt said, since this profile tends to let itself be overwhelmed and drained. Howes said feeling exhausted after interacting with someone, and dreading seeing them again, is a telling sign, along with struggling to concentrate or stay motivated after a meeting or conversation with one. Psychologist Tanisha Ranger, also quoted in the Huffington Post UK, agreed, saying the sign is a sense that conversations feel pointless and that you are wasting your time.
