The first day in a new team is always stressful at any age. No matter how much you rehearse your welcome speech in front of the mirror, you will still feel a slight shiver when you step into your new colleagues. And here the problem is not even self-doubt, because even a self-confident person can worry about how you will be perceived in a new place. Rather, it has to do with the fear of not finding recognition in an already formed team.
We talked with Galina Laisheva, psychotherapist of the Yasno service, about how to behave in a new team.
Galina Laisheva, clinical psychologist, candidate of psychological sciences, psychotherapist of the Yasno service
Where to start?
Try to communicate with new colleagues by talking about your strengths and hobbies – this will help you find common ground. At the heart of nearly every successful communication is an interest in personality – so it’s a good idea to tell your colleagues a little about what kind of person you are. The same thing works in reverse: ask questions, show interest, show gentle curiosity and sincerity.
Companies often select a team based on employee values and interests. And that means there are definitely things that unite you. At first, of course, it may seem like you and your new colleagues have nothing in common, but you should not jump to conclusions right away. It takes at least a few months to realize how successful the communication is.
In face-to-face communication, connections are made faster, while online, on the contrary, does not allow you to exchange feelings. One of the most effective ways to get closer is to work together. It could be teamwork on a difficult task, lunch at a cafe, or a trip to a bar after the end of the work week.
What if I’m an introvert?
If you’re an introvert, gradual convergence may be the only “cure” for you. Often, even unsocial, closed people manage to find a colleague close in spirit. Don’t set unrealistic goals for yourself and don’t try to instantly become the spirit of the team. Try to focus on your own sympathy – try to communicate with those who are most pleasant to you.
Many people think that in a new job everything should be different than before. However, this assumption is often wrong. You will continue to use the communication experience accumulated in other teams, and if you have never been an extrovert before, it is unlikely that you will be an extrovert.
“What if they don’t like me?”
When a person finds himself in a new environment, it fulfills his anxiety. As in our childhood, when we moved to a new classroom or went to camp, there was a fear that someone or everyone would not like us, that we would not be accepted. Then anxiety can distort our perception of other people – they immediately seem hostile.
It’s normal to want to impress our new colleagues and show our best side, and it’s also normal that it doesn’t always work out right away. Experiences can block and increase the distance between those who want to get closer. Think about ways to reduce anxiety – for example, switch to another activity, play up possible negative scenarios. Ask yourself: what’s the worst that can happen if my coworkers don’t like me? Most likely, there will be no devastating consequences. Give yourself time to adjust – maybe after a month you’ll feel more comfortable and even start joking.
If you feel that your colleagues are being hostile towards you and the situation is not changing, it is worth considering how much this work is worth. If conflicts arise regularly, it is better to seek help from a third party. For example, to a management or psychologist who will help you identify the problem and find a way to solve it.
Source: People Talk
