What is Adele syndrome and how unrequited love can drive you crazy?

If you constantly want to monitor and know where your man is every minute, if you live only his life and forget about yourself, then most likely you have Adele syndrome.

Is it possible to get rid of obsessive feelings towards another person? How not to go crazy if everything around you reminds you of your lover? At what point does falling in love become pathological? What signs can be used to determine that a person suffers from unrequited love? So how can we help him get rid of Adele syndrome and build harmonious relationships in real life?

Psychologist and psychotherapist Alexander Vronsky answered these questions especially for The Fashion Vibes. He told us what Adele syndrome is and how to get rid of it.

Alexander Vronsky, psychologist and psychotherapist

What is Adele syndrome and how did it occur?

Syndrome Adele It is a mental illness characterized by love addiction and an unhealthy longing for the object of worship. It manifests itself through object-seeking, delusional fantasies, a desire to participate in one’s life, and a loss of interest in previous relationships.

The history of this syndrome begins with the daughter of the French writer and poet Victor Hugo. Adele was a charming beauty whose life changed forever after a meeting with officer Albert Pinson, who captivated all her thoughts. Adele pursued Albert, but on the contrary, he tried to stay away from the girl and soon married another.

This act drove Adele crazy and her relatives had no choice but to have her committed to a psychiatric hospital. Adele Hugo remained there for more than 20 years until her death, Albert’s name dying on her lips, unable to shake off her unrequited feelings for him.

Signs that a person is suffering from unrequited love

Adélie syndrome is not included in the ICD (International List of Diseases) due to the similarity of its symptoms with many other disorders. However, pathology does occur and the following factors are considered as causes or prerequisites for its occurrence:

– OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) is a mental pathology accompanied by the presence of obsessions or obsessive thoughts that the patient copes with through compulsion (various actions, rituals);

– BPD (borderline personality disorder) is a condition characterized by hypersensitivity, difficulty controlling emotions, and low self-esteem;

– Attachment disorder, excessive attachment or, conversely, indifference to objects, places, and people, resulting from excessive rewards during the child’s upbringing;

– Delusional disorder is a condition characterized by the presence of false beliefs that the patient believes despite evidence to the contrary;

– Erotomania is a disorder in which the person shows obsessive interest and persistently demands communication.

What should you do if you have symptoms of Adele syndrome?

The usual situation is that a woman is left alone with her problem, withdraws into herself, and this situation can last for years. And at this time, her nervous system is exhausted, and the chances of a normal life are approaching zero.

Adele syndrome is a kind of escape from problems into a fantastic world. In the absence of real life, we are forced to invent it ourselves. The causes of this syndrome have much in common with the factors of the development of schizoid personality:

– A cold, rejecting mother and an insignificant father figure (in the case of Adele Hugo, the father was cold and rejecting; the famous writer was an unattainable ideal, indifferent to the experiences of children);

– Overprotection, creating learned helplessness;

– Extends;

– Low self-esteem and dysmorphophobia (this is a cause specific to Adele syndrome and has nothing to do with schizoid personality). A person does not believe that he can be loved in the real world so much that he creates an illusion of love for himself.

Is it possible to get rid of Adele syndrome?

It should not be forgotten that Adele syndrome also occurs in men. It is sometimes difficult for an outside observer to determine how much a person suffers from unrequited love, when passion turns into manic obsession. This is a very serious situation, because some rejected lovers see no other choice but to commit suicide. In order to diagnose Adele syndrome in a person in time and provide assistance, we add that the progression of the disorder can be conditionally divided into: three stages.

one

The person recognizes the object of his admiration and begins to make attempts to draw attention to himself, to establish a relationship with the object. However, these attempts become more and more intrusive and insistent. The person begins to pursue the object and tries to fill his whole life with it. All the symptoms of addiction are seen.

2

A thought defect sets in. The person becomes fixated on the object of his admiration, begins to fantasize about it, and makes the imagined seem real. At this stage the person may still be aware of where reality is and where fantasy is, but his thoughts are already completely absorbed by the object of his admiration.

3

Mental illness. At this stage, a person loses the ability to see the line between fantasies and reality, impoverishment of the soul and gradual disintegration of the personality occur. A person loses his own identity, completely melting into the object of his admiration.

If in the first two stages a person can still be helped by participating in the work of a psychotherapist, in the last stage it is possible to make life easier only with drug therapy. Because it is hard to call this a life.

The higher the stage, the stronger the symptoms appear: stalking (social networks and real life), bombardment of letters and messages from different phone numbers, fetishism (collecting everything about a person), complete indifference to one’s appearance, health. and to others.

The treatment of this phenomenon is quite complex and begins with a gradual return to reality, an examination of the feelings and emotions in this reality without an object of attachment, and a return to one’s own identity. Therapy is usually supportive and similar to that used in the treatment of addicts.

A prerequisite is to protect yourself from everything that may remind you of the object of love. Starting with things associated with it and ending with routes associated with it.

With a well-chosen therapy by an experienced specialist, the support of loved ones and the patient’s desire, learning to live again, setting goals for the future is only possible with a real person with whom the relationship will continue well. Adult and conscious position.