How can you support yourself during a breakup and return to a resourceful state quickly?

At first you feel butterflies in your stomach, you feel euphoria and you think that person is the One. And then something breaks.

Sometimes even the best relationships end. It doesn’t matter for what reason the breakup occurred. This process is individual and each couple experiences their own unique story. But often this decision causes pain to at least one of the partners.

Breaking up with a lover often leaves an indescribable feeling of emptiness in life, like a hole in the heart that seems almost impossible to fill.

Dealing with this situation is not easy, but it is possible. In this material, thinking mentor Victoria Brius told how to recover after a breakup, return harmony to your life and learn not to repeat past mistakes in subsequent relationships.

Victoria Brius, Thinking Coach

Stage one: feeling of emptiness

Immediately after parting, we feel an incomprehensible emptiness, we have a lot of free time, we have unusual emotions and feelings. It’s like you’ve been torn to pieces and can’t get back together.

Psychologists say we suffer when we go through a breakup. If you identify with one person for a long time, after a breakup it can seem like you’re losing not only your partner but also part of your personality.

Difficult. Emotions change: sometimes anger, sometimes sadness, sometimes short-term relief. It is very difficult to pull yourself together when you are in such an emotional swing. It’s even harder to go through this alone.

In this case, it is important to be able to talk about your soul: with a loved one or a psychologist.

Three main separation rules

Therapy and work on yourself help establish three rules for a competent separation. Although it may seem like simple and well-known things at first glance, it is not easy to turn the situation to your advantage when you feel at the bottom. Such attitudes turn into real liberation, because understanding your relationship with your “I” is your first priority.

Rule 1: Value yourself

Ending a relationship is the perfect time to start valuing yourself. Regardless of past relationships, the focus should be on your personality. This can be difficult because at the beginning of the journey, negative thoughts about yourself dominate your mind. It is important to avoid self-criticism and change your way of thinking.

Rule #2: Understand yourself

Focus on what you like about yourself, why you are valuable in a relationship. Focusing on your self-worth helps you understand your desires.

For example, many people in relationships have to adapt to their partner and their rules, but after a breakup there is an opportunity to understand their own desires. The absence of external pressure allows you to determine your personal path, make your own choices and experience new and unfamiliar sensations.

Rule 3: Love yourself

You are now ready to know your value, understand your desires, and love yourself with all your shortcomings and mistakes. You must be your own partner, with whom it is important to have a healthy and caring relationship.

Self-esteem also makes others appreciate you. When you respect yourself and your choices, others see that and treat you accordingly.

If you don’t treat yourself badly, would anyone else dare to do so? No, because you won’t let such people linger in your life.

Bring love back to yourself and life

After a breakup, it is extremely important to understand that you are a separate, self-sufficient person who can have a great time alone, enjoy life without a partner, and create truly beautiful and wonderful things when alone.

However, it is not easy to reach such conclusions. Especially when separation is painful. In such cases, a psychologist is very helpful in adapting to a new life.

In the period after the breakup, you are under stress, your body tends to overeat or, on the contrary, your appetite decreases. And it’s all to cope with emotional pain.

Understand that you are your most important asset. Take care of yourself and your health. See the breakup as an incredible opportunity to rethink yourself, your personal life and look for new values.

New partner: old mistakes

It is important to approach past relationships and experience with respect and gratitude. It’s an experience that makes you better.

Additionally, past relationships can reveal aspects of your personality and new needs for a partner that you were previously unaware of. Using this experience, you can consciously build more mature and sustainable relationships.

Life without relationships: spend more time for yourself and your hobbies

It can be really helpful to sort it all out in your head. Understand that separation is an opportunity to look at yourself, your life, and your well-being. Where to start?

— Find a motivating environment

For example, join a women’s club, try a new hobby and meet interesting people there. Maybe you can find friends dancing or at the gym, drawing or sculpting, or anywhere else. The important thing is not to lock yourself at home, try new things and not be afraid to communicate with people with whom you have common interests. This will help you distract yourself and get through a difficult period.

– To practice

Maybe the last thing you want to do is go to the gym when you’re completely exhausted. But dwelling on a problem while lying on the couch does not bring any positive emotions, only an unpleasant feeling of powerlessness.

Let it be done carefully, little by little at first, but every exercise, every activity will bring pleasure, and not by chance, because physical activity is a massive release of endorphins, the hormone of joy, which replaces a cup of coffee or energy. For example, alcohol. This is an opportunity to force yourself and your body to let go of emotional pain, straighten your back, and move forward.

By knowing exactly how to create a healthy, respectful connection with your partner, you will be ready for new relationships in harmony with yourself.

Breaking up isn’t bad. It’s an unpleasant situation, but think about how many opportunities it opens up! You are ready to do incredible things, improve yourself and enjoy new achievements.