A mother of two has differing views after revealing that her “compulsive” husband refuses to return to full-time work despite constantly harassing her with “only 30 hours of work”.
The British woman, whose name has not been released, has revealed that she has not returned to full-time work as a nurse after giving birth to her youngest four-year-old son, but will soon be working four days a week after her doctorate degree.
Leads to mumsnet’s mother said her husband, who works as part of the senior management team at a school, has repeatedly asked her to return to full-time work, even though they live comfortably on their combined income of £4,000 per month.
She said her husband brings home an extra £850 a month from her and that her income increase will be minimal if she continues to work full time.
Another reason for the mother’s hesitation is that she believes that taking a weekday off will give her more flexibility and allow her to spend more time with her children. four and eight years.
A mother of two has differing opinions after revealing that her “compulsive” husband refused to return to full-time work despite constantly harassing her with “only 30 hours of work” (stock image)
The mother said she worked full time before the birth of her second child and then cut her working hours to 25 per week, spread over three days.
She explained that as her husband works full time, they earn just under £4,000 a month, which he sees as a “comfortable amount” that gives the family a “pleasant lifestyle”.
My mother, who will be promoted by the end of the year, said that her working hours will increase to 30 per week, meaning her total salaries will rise to just under £5,000 a month.
The mother works part-time and brings home about half of her husband’s salary; which means she receives £850 less a month than her husband, as the raise is imminent.
While he acknowledges that working full-time will reduce the pay gap, he believes that with large increases in taxes and pensions the gap will not be as tangible.
While the mother feels comfortable in her new role, which plans to work four days a week, her husband is “very insistent” on working full time instead of “working only 30 hours”.
When she went to Mumsnet, her mother said she wanted her husband to return to non-stop full-time work, despite the couple’s wages of £4,000 a month.
She explained that a weekday off would give her the flexibility to change her working hours if she has a date or if one of her children is not feeling well, but her husband was unconvinced.
“I’m still going to work 30 hours a week, so I won’t be the kind of woman to spend time at home while the kids are at school and she’s working,” she said.
The mother says that although her husband’s working hours mean he’s home by 4 pm most days, his working day doesn’t usually end until 6:30 p.m., which means he can’t spend much time with his kids in the evenings. full time. it would work.
He noted that since his wife works at school, he can spend quality time with his children during long vacation periods and often takes the children to sports events on weekends.
“Instead of staying home every night before bed, I said I wanted to spend at least one day a week seeing my kids and picking them up from school and spending some time with them.”
“Just keep pushing.
The mother works part-time and brings home about half of her husband’s salary, which means she’ll be making 850 pounds less per month than her husband with her upcoming raise.
I don’t see why I would regret spending 7.5 hours less full time with me because I wanted to spend more time with the kids.”
While the mother understands that more working hours will mean more money, she thinks the family is extremely comfortable financially and prioritizes time with her children.
However, my wife is very money oriented and instead of thinking how comfortable we are already, we will be even more comfortable in August, she said, “But think how much money we would have if I was full time. . go,” he wrote. †
He said his promotion will increase his total monthly revenues from £4,000 to around £5,000, but he’s asking for more.
“His priority is money but not mine, especially when the kids are very young,” he said.
Users were split over the mother’s situation, with some accusing the father of being “jealous” of the mother in order to have more free time, while others claiming their children were too old to work full time.
“It always goes out and usually ends up in a mini-fight that we keep going back and forth.”
The mother also feared that she would resent her husband if she had to work five days a week and spend less time with her children.
She wrote: “During the difficult years I felt that I did most of the care, did all the mental stress and housework, just the general boredom of being at home with young children, etc. And now things get easier as the kids get older, she can spend all her time with the kids while I’m back to working full time.
“Just a little gross.”
Users were split over the mother’s situation, with some accusing the father of being “jealous” of the mother for more free time, while others claiming their children were too old to work full time.
‘Sorry, but I agree with your husband, I would really expect you to be full time with kids that age. Weekends are for spending quality time with kids,” one viewer wrote.
Some users warned that the situation could cause resentment between mother and husband.
“I think if one partner starts working less, the other should agree,” says another.
A third wrote: “Is it easy to resent if you earn a lot more money and realize that you don’t want to contribute more financially by doing that extra day? It’s made worse by the fact that she’s a teacher when you’re not clearly so you don’t go with them during the school holidays? Unfortunately that’s just life.’
Another said it’s all about honesty and that both have to work full time and pay for chores like cleaning.
“What each parent earns is important,” he said. “Since you’re making less money than it is, working full time and having a common pot for outsourcing would be the fairest way out here.
“If he works full time and feels to earn as much as possible in this role” [his wife] should do the same, then it makes sense. As long as family and child care are equally divided or outsourced, each parent must contribute proportionally.
Source: Daily Mail
