7 tips if you invite young parents to Christmas

Article originally published in December 2020

If the young parents around you come to spend a few days with you over the holidays, dark circles up to their chins, with a newborn baby inviting themselves in as a guest, here’s what you can put in place to care for them. of them.

(And if you’re a young parent yourself, feel free to pass this article along to your family and friends.)

1) Provide them with a quiet and comfortable place

Un bébé, ça a besoin de dormir beaucoup, mais rarement aux mêmes horaires que les adults… Alors si vous voulez simplifier la vie de tout le monde, prévoyez un endroit calme pour que le bébé puisse faire la sieste en journée et se coucher tôt le evening.

The more isolated this room is from the rest of the house, the better. And first of all to preserve your sleep, in the case of a baby who cries a lot at night.

If you plan on having the little family sleep on the sofa bed in the center of the living room, frankly, it can quickly become hell for everyone. Unless you’re ready to all be in bed by 8pm and don’t make any noise during the aforementioned baby naps.

Pay attention to the heating even in winter… If you can make sure that the room in question (or at least the bathroom) is at a comfortable temperature, it will be appreciated, because a child gets cold quickly, especially when changing diapers, bath time or get dressed.

As for the equipment to provide sleeping accommodation for the little ones, discuss it in advance with the parents. They are generally equipped with a travel cot for infants and provide their own sleeping bag. Otherwise, a mattress on the floor or a single bed with pillows as a barrier may work for you, especially for slightly older children.

2) Propose to buy the right equipment

Speaking of equipment, if the young parents you receive come by public transport and stay a few days, they will thank you a thousand times for having planned consumables for their baby in advance (diapers, mineral water bottles, jars…) .

It will be less and less to carry around… (And there, I have a moved thought for our first expeditions as parents who turned us into snails).

Before running to a supermarket, however, ask them what brands and sizes they usually take! Some babies have delicate bottoms and stomachs.

In the same kind of idea, go easy on the big Christmas gifts for parents who come by public transport or live in small housing. No one wants to drag Santa’s sack on their way home or slalom through toys in their living room.

3) Try to adjust to their pace, but be flexible

If you want to plan activities or outings with the small family, ask them in advance what a “typical day” is like with their children. What time should he eat? When does he take a nap? After how long outside are you tired? Etc.

The answers will help you plan meal times and an activity schedule that works for your guests. Knowing that before 6 months it is rare for babies to have ultra defined rhythms and that the slightest crooked fart can move the baby divine.

You will therefore have to be flexible throughout their stay…

I take this opportunity to give some advice that I greatly appreciated as a young mother: always keep part of the meal warm (or in the cool of the aperitif) for the parent who is managing the child falling asleep or the child’s crisis at the moment of childbirth adult meal.

4) Manage logistics

Speaking of meals, the most useful thing you can do to relieve the tiredness of young parents is to take care of all the logistics of the stay: shopping, meals, dishes, laundry, cleaning, etc.

Having only your child to manage for a few days is a very very very precious luxury. And this also applies if you are the one invited by the young parents. Checking beforehand, of course, that they’re okay with you reaching into the dirty laundry hamper.

Relieving parents of the logistics is especially important during the postpartum few months after giving birth, when we can get really exhausted.

Also, keep in mind that if your loved one is breastfeeding, there’s a chance they’ll always have the x-ray. That’s it, she plans meals accordingly.

5) Offer to help babysit, but listen to their refusal

Not everyone is comfortable with young children and you may not be enthusiastic about caring for the children of your loved ones. No problem, focus on point number 4 and you’ll already be at the top!

But if kids are your thing (well, you get the idea), don’t hesitate to offer your help keeping them to young parents. And when I say, offer your help, that doesn’t mean: take the baby from their arms without warning and walk with them to the other side of the garden, avoiding whispering “my darling.”

If the parents agree to let you have their baby, they will be happy to be able to shower, take a nap (creepy or not), sleep in or go out for two. Or even just nothing.

All I want for Christmas is half a day off without my daughter being able to play video games with her father.

And if you’re not sure how to take care of a baby, don’t hesitate to refer to our article on the subject.

Finally, if the parents are not very hot to leave their child with you, it is their right and it doesn’t matter. Babies are not dolls made for your pleasure.

Some parents may need time to detach from their child and trust other people, and that’s normal. Spend time all together, manage the logistics, and it will be great!

6) Apply barrier gestures

Even before Covid, respecting barrier gestures with children, and a fortiori with newborns, was already a good idea. Bronchiolitis, you know?

Since there is kindergarten or school to catch a cold, it is not worth adding.

Here are some basic rules to avoid making a child sick and further complicating his parents’ nights:

• Small: We wash our hands before touching a child.
• Small two: we do not cough or sneeze above.
• Three little ones: we don’t give him kisses on the face or hands (since he spends his time putting them in his mouth).

You can even keep the mask close to said child, it will protect both of you.

Also pay attention to how you carry the children (at least until they can walk): put one hand behind the head and one under the buttocks. And of course, never shake a child, even gently to play with them, the risk of serious or even fatal brain damage is not to be taken lightly.

With slightly older children, barrier gestures are always a good idea, but I would also add that you must respect their consent: do they not want to give you kisses or hugs? They don’t want you to cum on their lap? OK no problem !

If you try to force them, you send them the message that adults have every right to their bodies, and that’s not terrible, is it?

7) Abandon unsolicited advice and judgment

Even if you’ve already had kids, you don’t have the truth about “How to raise a perfect kid.” Every child is different, and things that worked for yours may not work for others.

If you don’t have children, you may still have an opinion about how small humans should have grown, or you may think you would do something different. It’s your right, but you don’t need to tell the young parents in front of you who are surely doing their best with the child that is theirs.

Know how to show humility and benevolence and give your opinion only if asked.

Please also respect the educational choices of the parents. Well, unless they spank their children or have a way of education based on humiliation and terror, then one can (should?) intervene.

But if this is exactly how parents feed, sleep, comfort, carry, entertain their child, trust them!

Ask them questions to understand how they work, listen to their answers and you may discover new ways of doing things that will enrich you.

Photo credit image of one: Monkey Business Images