Pregnancy: because I have not supported these 9 months (and I suppose)

Article initially published on May 29, 2020

I have already heard that I tell myself: “Ah, but don’t get pregnant if you don’t like it!” »» »

What do I answer: but how could I have known? I don’t have a magic car that allows me to see the future, eh.

It is like cooked tomatoes: how to know that it is not good, without ever having the flavor? Well, now I can say it: I don’t like cooked tomatoes and I hated being pregnant.

Pregnancy, this moment idealized by many

Since I was a child, I’ve always seen pregnant women around me love these long months with a great belly. They seemed made, in line with her and their future child, in short a pure moment of joy. Finally this is what they wanted to show, perhaps.

Suddenly, even if I knew that it would not have necessarily been a pleasure (ends with a birth in which you have to expel an roast of your vagina the same, it is nothing), I thought that overall, pregnancy, it did not seem so terrible.

Well, did I put my finger in my eyes … in the uterus? In short, you understood the idea.

Contrary to what I had as an example around me, my pregnancy was not a long river of contentment and happiness made of chirping of birds and very soft unicorns. Barely extracted.

No, I really lived these new ones Putain of Long months like a ordeal, both physically and emotionally.

The physical ordeal of pregnancy, difficult to bear

A pregnancy is long. Even longer when he is his first child, because we have time to look at the navel.

Let’s start with the First quarter of pregnancy. Yes, I know, not everyone has the same symptoms and depends on one woman to another, even from one pregnancy to another. It is the lottery.

For my part, I was not hyper saved, even if I know it could have been worse. I had already told you about my phobia of vomiting, you say that spending 3-4 months to get nausea from the moment I opened my eyes in the morning was not the best of moments, suspects it.

I tried everything to calm these nausea: the spoonful of honey on awakening, plants, acupuncture: nothing worked.

I took my pain for patience until the day it disappeared as if by magic, without notice. And again, I’m lucky: I didn’t throw up once. YouPi YouPi.

THE second quarter, It is presumably the one in which you feel best in your sneakers because the symptoms of the first months have passed and in which you like his half -ball a little.

That nenni sisterIt was all rotten. I was starting to find difficulty moving without being breathless (while walking for hours), I wanted to smoke permanently, and it was in the middle of summer, with the horrible heat, the swollen legs, the vagal discomfort and the desire to choose a glass of rosé or two.

Hi, this is the beginning of frustration.

THE Third quarter It was the worst, I think. I could no longer see my feet while my belly was huge, I slept badly because the night was the favorite moment of my daughter to make convertible in the reduced space of my uterus and Berlinar her in the ribs seemed to be her little favorite game.

Add to that lumbago, repeated sciatica and post instead of the legs and we are good.

Not frankly, everything was rotten as one thing, I don’t recommend eh.

The emotional ordeal of pregnancy, unbearable

Because they are not only the physical points called above which they are rebel, otherwise it is too easy. I believe that what I hated even more than the physical aspect that steals in a lap is What was going on in my head.

I took a long time before I realized that I had a occupant in the belly, even if the latter grew day by day.

I could not admit my state of pregnancy, and I managed the frustration and honey attention very badly and yet full of good attention from my loved ones.

I had the impression of being considered a small fragile thing that was to protect and cure, and made me mutual. I was pregnant, not sick or in sugar Name of Dioau !

I wanted to continue living my life as usual, except for the fact that I was quickly involved in reality and therefore I was ultra frustrated.

And above all, I no longer existed. I, the woman, obviously I was no longer present for those with whom I was rubbing her shoulders, I was just “the future mother”, the “pregnant woman”.

I was told only about my pregnancy, always and always, of what I was about to do when my daughter was born, if I was about to breastfeed her, if she went to sleep in our room or in her, if I was a washable or disposable layer, pacifier or thumb …

In short, thanks, but no thanks. I had no more intimacy in my thoughts and projects, all the questions I could only be asked around pregnancy and parenting.

I had the impression of being forced to play a role that I have not viewed at all like everyone else. For me, our life would certainly have changed, but my personality would have remained the same, on the same rails. I was about to suddenly become what they seemed to wait until I was.

Suddenly, I didn’t satisfy expectations, I raised questioning and a little judged eyebrows, and this was going down.

I was looking forward to giving birth and that my daughter was there, in order not to be considered only in this pregnancy, but also for me.

Not to mention the fact that once I was born, nobody would have tried to touch my stomach without even asking for permission. No, but are we talking about this mania? It makes me angry.

The release of childbirth, finally

When my daughter was born and once I was able to digest my serious postpartum depression, I liked it. I had had doubts that I really wanted a child when I could see how pregnant I hated when it was a period that should have been so beautiful and satisfying.

I had not been made at all, I had not loved these nine months at all. But now that it was finally there, that I could restart a blow and smoke a cigarette without feeling guilty because my uterus had resumed its original form and that the occupant had eliminated the premises, it was better. Obviously you extract, but you have the idea.

I feel much better in my role as mom now that my daughter no longer lives in my bowels! And I admit that I’m not sure I want to give the coverage and make it a little brother or a little sister.

At least for the moment, I don’t feel ready for this at all, because I know where I will have to go. And this, even if every pregnancy is different, remains the fact that it will once again be involved in the hospitality of A or to the abusive for a few months. The adoption is not in our projects, so we will see for the future!

But we are not yet there, far away, very far from it, it will still take some time to forget all this.

I avoid almost those who thrive and discover that these long months are fantastic, even if they can be raised in many aspects!

Image Photo Credit of A: Film in Happy Event