What if we stopped talking instead of texting? Compassion.

Well, we need to talk about some REAL issues, we’re fed up with the government, global warming (that’s not true, we’re all going to die), etc.

Right now, there’s something that’s really affecting my already fragile nervous system: people sending “voice messages” instead of writing a text message, like a normal person.

Who are these people ? What are their networks? Why don’t they take seven seconds of their time to use their fingers in addition to touching each other’s dough?

The voice message, this symbol par excellence of laziness

So yeah, I’ll probably be called a boomer and spoiler alert: that’s probably what I am. At least on this topic, don’t get carried away either.

But this is something I really don’t understand: why send a voice message instead of writing? Why bother holding your little finger while recording your tribulations which are, 90% of the time, totally uninteresting to the person on the receiving end?

I don’t understand, damn it, I don’t understand. And the worst thing is that if you, the sender of the voice, allows you to “save time”, you have no idea how annoying it is for the person hearing it.

How many times have I broken into a cold sweat when I saw the following appear on my screen: “Something sent you a voice message” and what’s more I see that it lasts 7 minutes and 30 minutes? No, but why do you do it?

Do you really think that all I care about is listening to you talk all this time and not being able to do anything else? Don’t you think my time is precious too?

And it even seems to me that I should consider myself lucky, because according to Philou, former famous editor of Madmoizelle and famous globetrotter, this voice message culture can be worse, like in Spain:

“ Even though I’m quite a fan of voice messages and use them quite regularly, I was shocked by the use of the foreigners I was on Erasmus with. All of my friends in their 20s and 30s used voicemail for EVERYTHING.

Especially the Spanish. They rarely used written text messages with other strangers and almost never with each other. Even for insignificant messages like “aha” they could press the phone’s little microphone to record themselves, to say it.

Even when we were in class, they didn’t hesitate to use their voice in whispers instead of writing a text. It was pretty fun to see.

One day I asked one of them why they did it. He shrugged and replied “I don’t know, we all do it, it’s less boring than writing” but he also added “plus, it makes it impossible to send screenshots of the conversation”.

We may have the beginnings of an explanation.

Voice messages: let’s stop this heresy

You’ll have to decide: either you send a written message, typed with the cocktail sausages you use as fingers, or you make a phone call, for real.

This middle ground is absolutely unbearable and, in addition to affecting others who are with you at the moment you receive this plague worthy of the plagues of Egypt, it also absolutely prevents any idea of ​​intimacy.

I’ll explain my point, but you need to project yourself a little (not into a wall, it hurts, stop this bullshit).

Imagine being in a crowded bar or at an apartment party, surrounded by other human beings who have the strange ability to hear what is being said around them thanks to these magical and oh-so-helpful little things we call ears.

Ok, can you see the scene?

There you see the notification appear on your phone: “Thing sent you a voice message.”

What, it’s your sexual date, the one who will join you shortly at the famous party you’re at and then embark on an air footwork of great beauty, involving an interlocking of bodies close to ‘a discipline of Olympic gymnastics.

Except Truc is already as hot as an ember and has decided to orally tell you all the things he can’t wait to do with your holes. Fantastic, what a great idea said like that, thanks Truc.

Thanks to sending this voice message and thanks to the fact that you don’t need to have a pair of headphones permanently attached to your ears, the whole world (well, the people who are with you at the party), are aware that in a few hours, you will become expensive.

Voicemails: These holiday assholes

Well yes, to listen to a voice SMS, it must be on the speaker, making you feel like an idiot by putting your ear close to the hole where the sound comes out. The posture is great, great, thank you.

Did the people around you really need to know your plans for the rest of the evening? NO. Did you want them to know? It’s up to you, but personally I don’t.

So thanks to Truc, who really ruined the mood – finally, above all yours, all because he couldn’t use his fingers for anything other than playing with your clit. Excellent.

Would this awkward moment have happened if Truc had texted or called your special someone directly? I’ll tell you in a thousand words: no. That wouldn’t have happened.

This is why I ardently fight against this craze and ask the people of the world to stop doing it, otherwise next time I will see myself screaming very loudly at my phone screen (yes, because I know there will be a next time ) that this will happen. Thanks x.

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