Help I have a phobia of vomiting, how can I deal with winter stomach problems?

La Daronne is the queen of not-so-stupid advice, covered with a large dose of more or less subtle humor. Here she is back to help a reader!

The question for Daronne

Dear Daronne,

Ever since I was a child, I have been emetophobic. Basically I have a phobia of vomiting and seeing people vomit. As time went by, this phobia became easier to manage and I almost thought I was free of it… But I got pregnant. Pregnancy, flawless, I had no nausea! Today my son is one year old and has been going to kindergarten since January. Last winter he had a stomach virus and he passed it on to us. Since then, my phobia has returned with a vengeance. I know there are already new cases at the nursery and I am in an impossible state of stress. I don’t know how to deal with it and I don’t know if I can spend the winter in this state of stress, but I don’t dare talk about it to anyone around me, not even my boyfriend.

I’m so scared that he’ll get sick and pass his illnesses on to me! Help !

Jane

Daronne’s response

My sachet of Smecta,

At the same time, it’s normal, no one likes to vomit.

I’m joking, even though my eyes are crying tears of blood (I just washed my entire body with pure bleach). Fortunately for you, and unfortunately for me, you are talking to the right person. Nobody likes to vomit, it’s true. But for the Phobia freethe prospect of setting himself on fire doesn’t seem light in comparison.

Worldwide, 10% of the population suffers from phobias. Oddly enough, emetophobia is one of the most common phobic disorders. It is also overrepresented among the daronnes who write for Madmoizelle. It allows us to stand together and convince each other that these two feverish children who have been vomiting non-stop for 24 hours have only contracted the Black Death. Sweet fantasies that lift us up for a few hours. But, of course, it is gastronomic. It’s always gastronomic.

Emetophobia, an effective natural contraceptive method

Emetophobia refers to the panicky fear of vomiting or being near someone who is vomiting. And by fear of panic I don’t mean: “Totò, relax with alcohol, otherwise I won’t get in the taxi with you, I don’t want to pay 50 cleaning balls to the driver again.“

I intend : “Totò may be my twin brother, but I’ve blocked him everywhere because just mentioning him causes fear and shivers of disgust.” Yes, sometimes that much.

The intensity of the phobia varies depending on individuals and periods of life. Since phobias are classified as manifestations of anxiety, they love to torment you during times of stress. As we said in our youth, it is the second Kiss Cool effect.

The entry into parenthood represents an intense identity upheaval which particularly favors the return of phobias. You have to find your feet, deal with all-consuming fatigue, reinvent family dynamics, take care of your inner child, identify the… Bullshit, Gabor Mate.

If children aggravate this emetophobia so much it is because they are little nests of germs, it’s the truth. Coming into the world as moles, they use touch and taste to explore the world around them, including the slums. An evolutionary strategy irreconcilable with their weakened immune system, their babbling affection and their total contempt for the slightest notion of hygiene. With children and their viruses, the fear of getting sick is justified, even if you never really know when you will get sick. I’ll let non-phobics apply this metaphor to existential threats.

Living with emetophobia

Emetophobia is the opposite of fuckboy: he has a hard time leaving you. On the other hand, as with the fuckboy, life in his company can quickly become unbearable. Fortunately, like all phobias, emetophobia can be alleviated:

Understand its causes: understanding the causes means identifying the origin of the problem and identifying the best angle of attack. Not all traumas are dealt with the same way.

Speak about : It’s not a shameful secret. Assuming it is a ridiculous phobia (no), I can assure you that among the 10 billion human beings on this earth, about 10 billion of them also hide an equally shameful shame. It’s time to speak up, especially in your home. A decent partner (I hope you have this model at home) is also there to support you, confide in you your fears and be able to rely on your partner to deal with the crisis, in any case, not only is this valuable, this is essential.

Closing your eyes is not running away: lanxiety rarely moves without obsession and Reload compulsive on health information pages or nursery news are often part of the little carousel. Not to mention the friends who are experiencing the same autumn as you, but who do not perceive any threat and give the WhatsApp group a pictorial description of the devastating family gastronomy (just write it…). You have the right to disconnect, if excessive information allows you to maintain control, also multiply the large glands by two: before and during, if ever. Masochism has its limits.

Prevention instead of cure: There are dietary supplements, such as probiotics, that can strengthen the digestive system. The usual practices of yoga, meditation, sophrology, Bach flowers and essential oils can help manage daily stress and reduce anxiety. Even living in a kinder society, probably.

While I can’t vouch for the effectiveness of anything, I think these little rituals exist primarily to help you regain control in the face of a phobia, and we like that.

Navigate by sight: you don’t learn to swim when you’re drowning (and for some of us who have never made it past the Labrador stage, never). There’s no point in blaming yourself if the little bike is already pedaling hard in your balls. If you can afford it, it’s better to miss a day of daycare the day before you leave for vacation than to have days of agonizing anxiety. If disaster strikes, go into survival mode, don’t resist, grab that mop and that bottle of bleach and scrub those doorknobs. Impose your decisions and your security protocol. Yes, mom is crazy, so what? There are ten billion of them, weirdos like her.

Consult and follow the treatment: phobias are like the smell of cat pee on the carpet, it is difficult to get rid of them and it is often necessary to contact a professional cleaner. Even if it’s not the same thing. Cognitive therapies and the practice of EMDR would observe excellent results. Sometimes drug treatment is necessary, do not refuse it. No one deserves to go through this.

Come on, I’ll leave you, I have to take my daughter to the dentist. She is very afraid, but as she told me before her: “Mom, in fact, it always hurts much more when you imagine it in your head than when it is actually happening!” “. A phrase of my own creation that she seems to have integrated much better than me. But when she tells me, I want to believe it.

The kiss,

Your Daronne