Talking to kids about sexuality, this hellish challenge

” Say mom, how do we make babies? » This phrase makes daronnes around the world shiver. While most humans are accustomed to this production method anyway, to the point of practicing it regularly, explaining one’s progress to a young audience is particularly difficult.

If the beginning of the questions falls simultaneously with the word, sometimes it takes a few years before you get into the heart of the matter (sorry). Years littered with strange discussions, during which one always wonders if the child will swing the killer question. After more than five years of motherhood, I still wonder, even if the deadline is near.

So how do children learn what children are like? And you just panic and talk nonsense? (NO).

Before three years: the discovery of primary biological functions

I hadn’t planned on tackling certain technical details so soon, but the boy follows me, all the way to the back of the toilet. At first she is not particularly attentive to her surroundings. Unless her path crosses that of a toilet brush, an exciting sensory toy to handle. For the rest of the time, my daughter is therefore content to observe me attentively and enthusiastically comment on the biological phenomenon that is taking place in front of her.

One day, however, she starts crying. I get it: witnessing the process of evacuating another human being is not pleasant. Even if you usually give this human being overwhelming adoration. But that’s not what she’s about and here she recoils in terror:

” Mom, you’re bleeding! You will die ! “Although I’m not always sure I’ve used them wisely, I have operational reproductive functions and the corresponding monthly manifestations: “ It’s normal ! All moms have it! I retort, ashamed of my flagrant lack of inclusiveness. Furthermore, this explanation does not fully satisfy her and since it is necessary to feed the curiosity of children, I add: It’s the nature. It means I don’t have a baby in my stomach. »

Seeing her think, I instantly regret my premature trust. Not only must he think the hypothetical baby died liquefied, but he implies that I give more details on the specifics of the matter. Not for the kid who finally replies notifying me of my monthly protection: “ You wear diapers. Why don’t you want me to wear diapers? »

Four years, the research phase

The arrival of a little brother whose biological sex is different from that of my first born raises the debate. After noticing some morphological differences, my daughter wants to know why boys have penises and girls have rummage. For those wondering where this grotesque term comes from: it comes directly from my sick imagination. YES, I know we have to use the real words, vulva, vagina and penis, but frankly, I’d love to see you there. In a moment of desperate bewilderment, the term rummage it came out of my mouth. Here you are. What do you want me to tell you, I panicked.

I tell him that some guys have a too rummage, and the girls a zizi. This doesn’t answer the question, but helps me solve it. I take this opportunity to remind him that his brother’s penis is his rummage it’s them and no one has the right to touch them or force them to touch them… My daughter nods with conviction.
” Mom.
– YES ?
– Why do you have hair there? Tired of having to justify all the discoveries my kids make when they follow me to the bathroom against my will, I brandish my cutest prankster:
– It’s something adults have. Leave me alone now! »

Five years old, mothers are cows like any other

School moms who keep reproducing you and provocatively flaunt your round bellies, no thanks. Since her best friend’s mother is pregnant with her, my heiress asks me to make her a little sister as well. I deduce from this that you are not yet aware of the preponderant role that the male gamete plays in the whole process of human creation.

One day my daughter finally tells me they are like cows. Before disinheriting her, I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and let her continue:
” Cows are like mothers, they have babies in their bellies and milk in their tits (another moment of lexical panic)! »

By dint of seeing her so fascinated by all these things in life, I would like to burst the abscess once and for all. She asks me if she hurts when the baby comes out, but she doesn’t ask me where it comes from. She wants to know if you can have a baby like that, but she doesn’t ask anything else when I tell her no.

She’s content to charge back with more and more probing questions, like the seagull craving my summer churros and casually approaching, until she’s ready to pounce on me.

Six years, the frontal question (or almost)

The child is always especially obsessed with these stories of babies in the womb. But also from the functioning of the meteorological elements, the solar system, dinosaurs and marine animals. Since this is not my case, but I admire her curiosity, I investigate with her and we discover together that the prehistoric sea creatures weren’t dinosaurs properly speaking. What is the relationship with the rest? My burning desire to show my science:

“- It’s like whales! I said. You know it’s not fish ? »
The child already knows:

“- Yes, mom, it’s because they can’t breathe underwater.
– But still? I don’t give him time to answer: They do not lay eggs and carry their babies in the womb!
– And like cows! And like you! They are mammals like you and like me when I grow up!”

You get the point.

“- And also as your brother“, I add, moved by the reflex guilt reserved for second, poor creatures who will never experience parental exclusivity. Remorse will destroy me. Literally :
“- Well no, it’s not a mammal, thought my daughter, cannot bring children.
– Yes, but it helps to make them.
– As ?
“Dad didn’t explain it to you?” I’m trying to save time.
– NO ! (My husband is a coward.).
– Mum and dad hug each other tightly and dad plants a seed for the baby to grow.
– In the ground ?
– Not in the womb. Do you want me to offer you an ice cream?”

Seven years and beyond, what do we do?

As I write these few lines to you, we have not completed our journey on the paths of biological learning. I continue to answer matter-of-factly – and with some brilliance, you’ll agree – all of his questions, trying not to give her the details he doesn’t ask.

I also try not to place the weight of a taboo or a secret on these exchanges. According to web experts, the age of reason provides some technical details, and introduces the function of the penis in all this mess. As for the exact course of operations, my sources recommend waiting nine or ten years.

I, in particular, want to advise you to do as you can and do not hesitate to give me your advice in the comments!

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