“When the head passed, I really felt the circle of fire”: Elisa tells us about her birth

• Age at delivery : 34 years

• Child expected on the date : May 19, 2021

• The baby arrived on date : May 14, 2021

• Arrival time at the hospital : 4h15

• Delivery time : 6h06

• Baby’s height and weight at birth : 4.250kg – 49cm

I had my last child at the age of 34, my husband was 35. We already have 2 boys aged 3 and 7.

This last child is the last, the funny child. In 2020, confinement has allowed us to meet family and just love each other. Thus was born the desire to have a third and last child. A little girl’s hope is there. My husband Fabien lets himself be convinced.

Pregnancy as an enchanted break

I have suffered from endometriosis for several years. I have already had surgery, so I have little time to have a baby before the very intense pain returns. As with my first 2 kids, I eventually got pregnant on my first cycle. I only know 3 or 4 days later. Very attentive to my body due to endometriosis and my hypersensitivity, I feel the first symptoms even if the 1st test announces me negative. It will finally be positive a few days later. My partner expected it but now it’s concrete: the pressure is rising because in 9 months there will be 5 of us!

The pregnancy went very well but in a context that is still anxious about Covid. So I stopped by early to protect myself from not following the precautionary measures in the large open space where I work. The first ultrasound reveals the sex of the baby: a third boy. In good health, yes, but disappointment is hard to bear. I need right now to really invest in my pregnancy, to take care of myself and my mind. I then create a multidisciplinary support network : a psychologist who practices hypnosis, an osteopath, an acupuncturist… I take care of my shape with prenatal yoga. Pregnancy has always been for me an enchanted break in an overly intense everyday life. I relive it like this and focus on myself again.

Also read: “I felt very close to a disaster scenario”: Rachel tells us about her deliveries

Giving birth without medical intervention

As far as giving birth, it never scared me. Firstly because I’ve never asked myself about it. This time I want to act out my child’s birth (like the feeling of just waiting for the bus, the other times after the epidural rupture). It is decided: I will give birth without an epidural.

I document myself, I read a lot (physiology books, stories of births without death, etc.). On Facebook groups, I encounter a new paradigm of birthing where the power of women is at the heart of childbirth. Where everything goes smoothly and where even pain is no longer a problem. The woman is strong, powerful, knows how to give birth without medical intervention. I am therefore building a birth project with my husband in this sense.

It was during this preparation that I encountered the doula profession and how these women work in the service of families and births. It is a profession developed mainly in Anglo-Saxon countries. I understand that childbirth can be safe without any medical protocol. Unfortunately, I already knew that there were no AAD (home birth) midwives in my ward. I choose motherhood, but it will be without the intervention of the medical profession (free hand). I prepare for childbirth according to the Bonapace method. But my readings and documentaries will give me the certainty I needed to carry out my project.

An express birth… and powerful!

Of my three pregnancies, this one lasted the longest. It’s been a good week since I’m at the end and want to give birth. Finally, the day before the birth, I have a great day with my family and forget my impatience. Is it the famous “letting go” so often mentioned to mothers struggling to give birth!?

So that night I go to bed tired and serene. I wake up in the middle of the night to go pee, then a second time (strange, this has never happened in my entire pregnancy!). That’s when I go back to bed my waters are totally breaking. It’s 2:47 in the morning

A few minutes later, the same time my husband woke up, the contractions started. They are spaced out every 3 minutes. Time to arrange childcare for the older ones, we leave 1 hour later for the maternity ward. I reach 3 cm of dilation, I have to undergo routine exams including the famous monitoring. The nature room is available, I take advantage of it, but the bathroom is forbidden to me due to my pocket breaking. Finally I’ll go in the shower but already the work is intensifying. I ask to call the midwife for a new check: Just 2h30 of work and I’m 6cm apart! The midwife will understand (before me!) that it’s time. I’m in a phase of despair, the baby is on the way.

Carried back to the room in an armchair as he ran, Finally I give birth on all fours on the bed in the nature roomwithout any medical intervention. The intensity of Aubin’s arrival is truly incredible. But in the end I can’t say that I really suffered. When the baby’s head passes, I really felt the ring of fire, this intense burning sensation in the vulva. But in the end it is very fast and quickly forgotten.

An ideal postpartum

From start to finish, my birth plan was respected: you can give birth physiologically in the maternity ward.

When Aubin was born, it took me minutes to land. And I found it… huge!

In the hours following the birth I was able to get up to get dressed, tidy up. It was a pleasure to feel so fit.

This time I have well organized my postpartum closer to the golden month, these 30-40 days of rest and calm, to take care only of the baby and my husband who takes care of me). I had no difficulty adapting, my breastfeeding was operational from the beginning. No discharge of the crying baby … Happiness. I think childbirth has a huge influence on the postpartum period. Not to mention this feeling of pride and power that makes me think anything is possible!

Becoming a doula as a professional project

After this birth and this power, the taste and desire to change life is back, especially since I was bored in banking for a while. I quickly made the decision to become a doula and help these women who also want to experience something other than what we get to see on the show. Baby boom. I took the time off long parental leave to work out while enjoying the baby. Maturate a professional project of creating a perinatal home, where I will practice together with other professionals (osteopath, sophrologist, reflexologist, dietitian…).

It was finally when I returned to work in April 2022 and my company’s refusal to give 50% parental leave that I have decided to resign and embark on this project 100%. A personal journey has allowed me to detach myself from all my fears related to entrepreneurship. Today I’m growing my business and meeting amazing moms every day who need support and guidance in their birth plans or through postpartum hardships and I’m blasting it! Respected motherhood and birth have allowed me to reveal myself and to highlight all that I am capable of. And it’s not over!

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