Help, I told my man Mythos about the pecho and he’s about to find out the truth

La Daronne is the queen of not-so-stupid advice covered in a large dose of more or less subtle humor. Here she is back to rescue a reader!

The question for Daronne

Dear Daronne,

I have a problem worthy of a rom-com, only I’m far from a happy ending. A year and a half ago I moved to a new city for work. I very quickly met a guy who I fell in love with. He wasn’t at all the kind of guy I usually fall in love with, he loves extreme sports, he doesn’t like parties, he doesn’t drink, he’s serious…

And since I was in any case seriously attracted to it, I invented a life as a healthy sportswoman, passionate about surfing and holding a Master’s when I stopped immediately after graduating from high school and the only sport I’ve practiced in my life is the Barathon.

Since I didn’t know anyone here, he passed by himself and we’ve been together ever since. I never told her the truth and didn’t mean to, EXCEPT we were going on vacation next week and our plan fell through. Her friends then offered to join them at their beach house to go surfing with them. She immediately accepted.

Do you see the Daronne problem? Because I do. I’ve never set foot on a board, I hate the sea, the sand, it’s scratchy, and they plan to ALSO do skydiving, another thing I pretended to love when I’d rather die than try.

How do I get out of this mess?

R.

Daronne’s answer

My little toothpick,

As you say, sacred romantic comedy. I’d also like to thank you, the 2023 movie romances seriously lack WTF twists. Luckily we have real life to enjoy. If I suspect you aren’t adorable like Reese Witherspoon and your boyfriend is touching like Jason Segel, imagine a romantic comedy with these two darlings – we’ll be content with what we have, huh.

I’m kidding, but you’re not, trapped like a raccoon in this trap closing around you. True, your situation is not simple, but since your situations never are, dear readers, I will try to answer you.

Persist until you lie without giving up

Did you see that my subtitle ends with the infinitive of the verb “release”, itself taken from the term coward (unless it’s the other way around?). FOLLOW MY LOOK. But after all, why not, not everyone is obliged to have the courage of Napoleon. I know my example sucks but I was looking for an example of a famous person of great courage and this is to tell you if I had any trouble finding it.

To escape this hellish vacation week, you can suddenly break a key limb like a shin or elbow, or face sudden family drama. Whatever your excuse for bailing out, however, I recommend that you carefully write down every detail.

It would still be a shame if during a family dinner, your fiancé suffered a heart attack seeing the ghost of your aunt who died in an accident as terrible as it was unexpected. Attention! One lie often leads to another and that’s how you find yourself one fine morning with no other solution than to kill your entire family so they don’t find out you’ve spent the last 20 years posing as a prominent WHO doctor.

Let go

This time, the verb free is at the beginning of the sentence, because if you’re tempted to act like a coward, you know that a lie never ends there. This is false, of course, but I had to find a twirl to justify this second subtitle. Many lies obviously remain well buried until the death of their owner and this is not always the worst that can happen. But in your case it’s better to unpack the truth, unless you can perfectly assimilate all these extreme sports in one week.

I want to tell you that your boyfriend will be touched by your touching vulnerability and lovingly accept this new part of you, but I don’t know. Unfortunately, making a decision with fairness and integrity doesn’t guarantee a happy ending. But it allows you to give your boyfriend the basic respect you owe him and let him decide for himself whether or not this lie constitutes a serious offense.

You may therefore be tempted to cite only the myth of your passion for skiing and evade the rest. But let’s imagine that one day he finds out about your dark past as a party girl, or your lack of school attendance, he might spend the (brief) rest of your relationship wondering what else you could have been hiding from him, and believe me, that doesn’t bode well.

Can a man who doesn’t like you love you?

My subs are absolutely amazing today. So the question is also asking how far you are willing to continue denying what you are. If I don’t advise anyone to exercise as a sole physical activity rather than drunkenly dancing on a dance floor, and that school helps sometimes, afterwards, you know it before you bite your fingers, assures In any case, find a partner who will allow yourself to be. Be it this or another.

I’ll leave you, I need to talk to Daron, he still thinks I’ve been driving a long time,

cookies,

Your Daronne